


The Twins

by Donar (Dunar)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crossdressing, Humor, Multi, Romance, Sexual Content, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-03-30 23:37:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3956209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dunar/pseuds/Donar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julien and his twin brother Valentin have just moved to England with their family. It's their first day at their new school, Hogwarts. Trouble begins when they are sorted into different houses. How will they deal with being apart and will they make new friends?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sorting Hat

**Author's Note:**

> My French is horrible, so I apologize in advance for inadvertently mangling that beautiful language! If you find any errors, feel free to tell me and I'll correct them.

Green flames roared up in to fireplace of the Three Broomsticks Inn as a boy of maybe fourteen years appeared in the flames. He held a large trunk in one hand and the cage of an owl in the other. His name was Julien.

The first Julien saw of his destination were the soot-covered stonewalls of the large fireplace. It led to a huge, crowded room, that was buzzing with chatter. Behind him, his twin brother Valentin appeared out of the flames and pushed him forward. Julien staggered into the brightly lit room and almost dropped the cage with Munin, his eagle owl. She fluttered her wings to keep her balance and gave him an irritated look.

“Hé!”, Julien protested.

“Don't stand in the way!”, his brother retorted.

They exchanged an angry glance, then they both grinned. Valentin stepped out of the fireplace, dropped his trunk on the floor and sat the cage with Munin's sister, Hugin, atop of it, then he looked around as well. The room was filled with tables, all of which seemed occupied by witches and wizards. The establishment was surprisingly clean, if a bit smoky, as Julien noted with a disapproving glance at the two wizards at the next table, who were sucking on muggle cigarettes and busily puffing stinking fumes into the air.

In the back of the room was a bar with a large mirror behind it. The two boys picked up their luggage again and made their way over. Julien quickly lifted himself onto one of the few free bar stools and Valentin joined him. He waved at the barmaid.

“Two firewiskey, s'il vous plaît!”, the twins said as one and grinned at each other.

The barmaid looked them over critically.

“How old are you?”, she inquired.

“Butterbeer, then”, Julien gave in.

“Bien”, Valentin agreed.

The barmaid leaned on the counter. “How'd you even get in? No underage wizards allowed in here this late in the evening!”

“This is the Three Broomsticks, c'est exact?”, Valentin asked, “we were told to come here.”

“We're on the way to Hogwarts”, Julien added.

The barmaid seemed to think for a moment, then she smiled. “You're the new students! Right, I remember. I expected you a lot earlier! You probably want to know the way?”

“Oui”, Julien agreed.

The barmaid paused and looked them over again. “It's some distance and it's already quite dark outside. Maybe I should ask someone to accompany you.”

“We're no children”, Julien told her, indignant.

“Oui! So do we get our butterbeers or not?”, Valentin added.

The barmaid gave them yet another critical examination and Julien tried to look his most grown-up. It must have worked, because after a moment, she grinned and nodded. “OK, I'll make an exception this once. One butterbeer. But then you'll have to leave!”

She quickly took care of some other customers, then she returned with their drinks. While the twins sipped at their butterbeers, the barmaid described the way to Hogwarts to them.

Apparently, it was rather hard to miss, for they only had to walk down the main road and once they reached the end of the street, they would already see the castle on the other side of the sea. Then they would just have to follow the path around the lakeside.

Julien and Valentin finished their butterbeers and thanked the barmaid. They picked up their trunks and the cages with their owls, then they left. Outside, they turned in the direction the barmaid had indicated.

Like she had warned, the sun had already set and it was rather dark under the cloudy sky. Once they had left the last houses behind, the twins got out their wands to illuminate the way. To their right was the dark surface of the large lake. In the distance, Julien got the first glimpse of their future school. A dark, forbidding fortress that clung to the rock on the other side of the sea. It looked nothing like the warm, bright palace of Beauxbatons.

A small, winding path led deeper into the forest that surrounded the school. Julien shivered. It was cold up here in Scotland, and wet, and quite a distance to walk in the unfamiliar, dark forest. With its spooky trees and branches gnarling and moaning in the wind and unseen creatures hoarsely cawing in the distance. Not that Julien was afraid – because he wasn't! But somehow, he and Valentin still huddled together closer and raised their wands so they could see better.

They had lost sight of the castle once they had entered the forest, but the path was easy enough to follow. Still, Julien wished the stupid school had allowed them to floo directly there. He really didn't get why all the schools were protected like this! They were schools, not frigging Azkaban! Durmstrang had been the worst.

“You're heavy!”, he complained to Munin.

Munin ruffled her feathers and gave him an indignant look.

“You are!”, Julien told her.

“You should have asked papa to cast a weightlessness charm on their cages like he did with the trunks!”, Valentin said.

“Why didn't you ask?”, Julien retorted.

“Why do I always have to think of everything?”, Valentin huffed.

“Idiot!”

“Connard!”

A sudden screech in the distance made them step together back to back, their wands pointed into the darkness. After a moment of silence they relaxed again, then they eyed each other and grinned.

“ _Trouillard!_ ”, Valentin whispered.

“ _Couille molle!_ ”, Julien countered.

A short while later, they reached a big gate, which was guarded by two giant winged boar statues that watched them menacingly as they passed. Hogwarts looked less and less welcoming to Julien with every step. He already missed the sun-lit halls of Beauxbatons and its beautiful gardens.

Soon, though, the trees began to thin out and once the twins had left the forest behind them, they could see the towering silhouette of the castle before them again, now much closer already.

They entered through a heavy wood and iron door and stepped into a huge hall. It was so big, their parents' new house in the London suburbs would have fit inside whole if it hadn't been for the magnificent marble staircase that filled most of the space. Flaming torches on the walls spend a flickering light, but they were so dim, Julien couldn't even make out the ceiling when he looked up.

A tall, black-haired witch greeted them. She looked impatient and uptight and Julien immediately thought she was the kind of teacher that didn't like children.

“Good evening, Madame”, he and Valentin greeted her politely.

“You must be our new students”, she observed.

“Oui, Madame, Valentin and Julien Lambert”, Julien said, pointing out his brother first, then himself.

The old witch looked them over, critically. “Those aren't Hogwarts robes.”

“Non, Madame, those are our Beauxbatons uniforms”, Julien said.

“We didn't have time to get our school stuff yet”, Valentin added.

The witch frowned. “We will have to remedy that as soon as possible. I suppose those robes will do for the time being, but this is highly irregular. ”

“ _Pardonne-moi!_ ”

The old crone looked down at some parchments in her hands. “You two have been around a lot, Beauxbatons, half a year in Salem, a year at Durmstrang, Beauxbatons again”, she shuffled through the parchments, “and you have gained _quite_ the reputation.”

“Completely undeserved”, Valentin quickly interjected.

“Honestly”, Julien agreed.

The witch examined them yet again and they both looked at her innocently.

“Well, let me welcome you to Hogwarts!”, she said, and Julien wasn't quite sure if he detected sarcasm in her voice, “I'm Professor McGonagall, deputy headmistress of this school. If you would follow me, you will be sorted into your future houses and join your classmates shortly. You can leave your luggage, it will be taken care of.”

“What about Hugin and Munin?”, Julien asked.

He held up Munin's cage to clarify as McGonagall looked at him questioningly.

“Just leave the cages with your trunks, they will be taken to the owlery.”

They dropped their luggage and went after McGonagall.

As she led the way, she eyed her parchments again. “Your previous Transfiguration teacher writes that you have an aptitude for fire charms, Julien?”

“That dorms fire totally wasn't Julien's fault!”, Valentin blurted out.

“Dorms fire?”, she asked, intrigued.

Julien jabbed Valentin with his elbow to shut him up. “It was all a misunderstanding”, he said.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow.

“It was a really small fire!” - “Some kid knocked over a candle or something.” - “ _Not_ _me!_ ” - “Hardly a fire at all!” - “So the carpet got burned a little.” - “Maybe a little more than a little.” - “And the curtains.” - “That ugly rug was a fire hazard anyways”, the two hastily explained.

McGonagall stopped to eyeball Julien and he gave her his best innocent face again. Finally, she turned back around and, without another word, walked on.

“ _Mouchard!_ ”, Julien hissed at Valentin and Valentin poked his tongue at him.

They followed McGonagall through a row of arches to the right of the great staircase and entered an even bigger hall. It was brightly lit by thousands of floating candles and the ceiling showed a perfect image of the night-sky outside. The voices of hundreds of students filled the hall with chatter and laughter. Julien looked around, actually a tiny bit impressed. Of course he had heard of the magic ceiling in Hogwart's dining hall. It was just a simple illusion spell, but the sheer size of it was impressive nonetheless. McGonagall led them through the rows of tables and towards the teacher's desk at the back.

In front of it, on a small stool, sat the oldest and most frayed hat Julien had ever seen. It had been patched numerous times and it looked like it hadn't been cleaned in centuries. McGonagall picked up the ugly thing and motioned them to sit on the stool. Meanwhile, the hall had quieted down and the other students were looking over to them. Julien sat down first and McGonagall raised the hat above him. The crone wasn't really going to put that greasy thing onto his head, was she? Julien involuntarily shuddered as the atrocious headwear touched his beautiful, carefully dressed hair.

“You may not think I'm pretty, but you'll hardly find a smarter hat than me!”, _the hat_ said, “oh, what have we here? Now you're an interesting one. Which house to put you ... the older ones are always harder. You sure have the wits for Ravenclaw, but you lack diligence, ah, and that thought isn't at all fit for Ravenclaw!”, it laughed.

Just then Julien realized that he was the only one who could hear the voice. The hat was reading his mind! He immediately tried to clear his thoughts, but the hat just laughed even more.

“An apprentice Occlumens? There is no need to be so mistrustful, young man, I won't tell ... but you will have to do better to thwart me, there is nothing in your head that the Sorting Hat cannot see!”

“Si vous pouvez lire ceci...”, Julien thought. The hat teased: “Je n'ai jamais dit que je ne parlais pas le français.” - “ _Zut!_ ”

Julien's metal outburst just cracked up the strange sentient headwear even more and its laughing filled Julien's head.

“ So, what's with th at sorting thing anyways? What are the houses?”,  he asked  in his mind .

“ I'll tell you where you belong and I've never been wrong!”,  the hat  said in  its strange singsong voice , “t here's Ravenclaw, where the  brightest would always be best; and Gryffindor who prized the bravest far beyond the rest. There is  Hufflepuff, just and loyal and unafraid of toil. And finally, Syltherin, for those cunning and full of ambition.”

“No rhyme  for that last one ?”, Julien  inquired , “well, put me  in Gryffindor or Slytherin !  I 'm no teacher's pet and Hufflepuff sound s boring!”

“I wouldn't have thought of  Hufflepuff , you lack the  diligence and  endurance”, the hat quipped.

“ C'est des c onneries! I  can  work hard if I want to!”, Julien thought, angry.

“Exactly”, the hat agreed, “ Gryffindor or Slytherin you say? You'd do great in both ... hmm ...”,  the Sorting Hat fell silent again for a long while, and Julien felt a prickling on his head like it tried to read even deeper into his mind. Or the thing had lice that were now invading his hair. Suddenly, the hat shouted: “ _GRYFFINDOR!_ ”

Only when t he table furthest to the left broke out into  loud  applause,  Julien realized that this time, the hat had spoken out loud .  McGonagall lifted  it from  his head  and pointed him towards that table. Julien got up.

“The hat uses Legilimency!”, he whispered a warning to his brother as he went past him. Then he turned towards the table McGonagall had indicated. A red-haired boy and his friend, both about Julien's age, shifted a bit to the side to make room for him.

“Merci beaucoup”, he  said as he sat down in-between them, “I'm Julien.”

“ Ron ”,  the  redhead replied absent-minded ly. L ike everybody else,  he was looking over to Valentin, who had taken over Julien's place on the stool and had the  Sorting Hat placed on his head. It remained silent for a long while, and Julien wondered how long exactly his own  mental  dialogue with the strange  artefact actually  had taken.  Apparently, it didn't usually take that long, pupils all around Julien began whispering among themselves. “ H atstall  again ”,  Ron told  the bushy-haired girl sitting on his  other side –  though Julien wasn't exactly sure what that was supposed to mean.

Just at that moment, the Sorting Hat shouted: “ _SLYTHERIN!_ ”

The whole hall fell silent. McGonagall removed the hat from Valentin's head and he awkwardly got up. He turned towards Julien, but she stopped him and pointed towards the table at the opposite end of the hall. Valentin looked over to Julien uncertainly, then he hesitantly turned around and got over to the Slytherin table. Finally, his new housemates began to cheer.

Once Valentin had sat down, people began chatting again. A young boy sitting opposite to Julien, he later learned that the boy's name was Nigel, excitedly whispered that he had never heard of identical twins being sorted into different houses. Ron suggested: “Maybe he's his evil twin brother!” They laughed.

“Valentin is not evil, you crétin! Take that back!”, Julien told him angrily.

“I was just joking, you jerk!”

“Connard!”

Ron's girlfriend leaned over. “Ron is sorry, he didn't mean to insult your brother! Nigel, it does happen, though rarely. Parvati for example is in Gryffindor and Padma is Ravenclaw.”

“Yeah, but not Slytherin!”, Ron muttered.

“Ron!”, she reprimanded him.

“Sorry.”

“ _Hogwarts: A History_ mentions a few historic cases”, the girl continued, “Henry the Black was in Slytherin and his brother Thomas was Hufflepuff. It's all very interesting, I wished it had a better description of how the hat makes its decisions! Really, has none of you ever read that book?”

“What for? You know it all by heart, I can just ask you”, Ron said.

She harrumphed.

Julien kind of liked her already, she seemed nice, even though she apparently was a bit of a Madame Je-sais-tout. If she ever took care to tame her shaggy hair, she would look quite staggering, too, he thought. He didn't like Ron, though.

 

After dinner, McGonagall, Julien's head of house from now on, showed him where he was going to sleep. He managed to exchange a short glimpse with Valentin as they exited the Great Hall, but while his brother went down the great staircase, McGonagall led Julien upwards. His new housemates, Ron and his girlfriend – Hermione was her name – walked with them. The Gryffindor dormitories were all the way up in a castle tower. After the long climb – Julien hoped he would find the way again the next day, the stairs had kept on changing directions around them all the time and it was rather confusing – they went down a corridor on the seventh floor. Finally, McGonagall stopped in front of a large picture of some fat witch. Julien looked at Hermione, confused.

“That's the entrance to your dormitories”, McGonagall explained, “the lady is the guardian, you have to tell her the password when you wish to enter, you better remember it”, she turned to the portrait, “ _Balderdash!_ ”

The picture of the Fat Lady swung to the side to reveal a secret passage behind the portrait. McGonagall went through and Julien, Hermione and Ron followed her. They entered a kind of lounge full of squashy armchairs and tables, a warm fire roared in the fireplace on the wall and next to the entrance there was a bulletin board full of school notices, ads, lost posters and the like.

“That's your common room”, McGonagall told him, “you are expected to be here after curfew and before bedtime”, she pointed at a pair of spiral staircase, “those lead to the dormitories. The boys' dormitories are to the left, to the right are the girls' dormitories. The stairs are enchanted to become a slide if a boy climbs them, so don't try!”

Suddenly, Julien was all ears, but he nodded dutifully. He took note that the boys' dormitories didn't seem to enjoy a similar protection, as McGonagall led him upstairs and not only Ron but also Hermione happily followed without incident.

McGonagall entered a five beds dormitory. Two boys were already present, Julien had seen them before at dinner. Hermione introduced him to them, their names were Harry and Neville. McGonagall pointed at the last bed all the way in the corner, but Julien had already seen his trunk laying at the foot of that bed.

“Seems like we're going to be roommates”, Ron said, sitting down on the bed next to Harry's.

Julien wasn't too happy about that prospect. “Can't I get another room?”, he asked McGonagall, “I'd rather be with my brother”, he quickly added as he saw her frown.

“Well, you can't, you're in different houses”, she said.

Julien thought that stupid. “I want a different room anyways! I don't like Ron.”

“Young man, you would do good not to pick fights at your first night already! You have barely arrived”, McGonagall said and eyed him sternly, “if you must, you can ask around if anyone is willing to switch rooms with you. Until then you stay and you better try to get along with your fellow students!”

Sullen, Julien nodded, went over to his new bed and sat down on it.

McGonagall continued: “All of those gentlemen are in your year, you can ask them for your class schedule. We'll talk about your electives tomorrow. I trust you have no more questions for now?”

“Non, Professeur”, Julien muttered.

McGonagall gave him another disciplining stare, then she turned around and left.

Julien looked around the room darkly. Harry and Hermione both were friends with Ron, that was obvious. She had sat down on Harry's bed though, not Ron's. Maybe not his girlfriend after all. Neville was laying on his bed, reading, he returned Julien's gaze a bit shy and quickly looked down on his book again. The fifth bed currently was empty, though Julien assumed he had another roommate. Unless Hermione was in fact a guy and it was hers – but Julien had a good eye for such things usually and those boobs seemed genuine.

Harry eyed him and Julien stared back gloomily. “What's his problem?”, Harry silently asked Ron, though loud enough for Julien to hear.

“It's my fault”, Ron said, he turned to Julien, “look, I have siblings, too, and I wouldn't let anyone insult them either. It was a bad joke and I am sorry about what I said, OK?”

“OK”, Julien agreed hesitantly, after all it seemed he would be stuck with Ron and his friends for a while, “and I am sorry I called you a connard.”

“What's that mean anyways?”, Ron asked.

“Like ... a bastard”, Julien gave the tamest translation that came to his mind.

Ron grinned. “Tell you what, want us to show you around Hogwarts after breakfast tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“Great. Then we'll give you a tour.”


	2. Getting Around

Julien woke up early the next morning. So early, in fact, that when he got to the washroom, he had the entire shower room all for himself. He took a quick shower, then he seized the opportunity and cast freezing charms on all the shower heads. Just as he took care of the last one, he heard footsteps nearing outside. He quickly hid his wand under his towel and ran over to the row of sinks.

Three older boys entered, two oft them obviously twins and, going by their looks and the distinctive red hair, probably relatives of Ron. Their friend was black and wore dreadlocks. They wished Julien a good morning and he happily grinned back at them. He watched from the corner of his eyes as they shed their pyjamas. The twins were quite nicely hung and Julien liked the patch of red hair down there. Dreadlocks was a looker, too.

They entered the shower room, Julien sneaked after them and hid behind the corner to watch. Dreadlocks tried to turn on a shower first, but of course no water came. He tried a second one, to no avail. The three all stepped closer and looked up to examine the shower head, just like Julien had hoped. With a grin, he pulled out his wand and whispered the incantation of a weak heating charm.

The blocking ice melted and showered all three boys in ice-cold water. With a shriek, they all jumped back, one of the presumed Weasleys even fell back and sat down on his ass. Julien burst out laughing.

Three faces turned to him and he quickly hid his wand again. They came over and surrounded him, Julien made a step back, but one of the twins quickly moved behind him. None of the three older boys was laughing.

“You wouldn't beat up a small kid over an innocent little prank, would you?”, Julien asked and grinned at them, though he kept his hand close to his wand.

“Think we should, George?”, the twin to Julien's right smiled, threateningly.

“I don't think he knows whom he's messing with”, his brother said.

“We better teach him”, Dreadlocks agreed, flexing his hands.

The two in the front stepped closer. Julien sidestepped them and pulled out his wand – or at least he would have if he hadn't gotten it stuck in his stupid towel. He yanked at it, but before he could free it, the guy in his back had already secured his wrist. His brother quickly reached for the wand while Dreadlocks got a hold of Julien's other arm. The bullies twisted his hand around and with a pained yelp he let go of his wand.

The twin in the front snatched it from him and triumphantly pointed it right at Julien's nose. Julien turned away so whatever spell the guy was going to throw at him wouldn't hit him right in the face.

But none came, instead all three suddenly started to laugh. They let go of Julien and the boy flipped around the wand to offer it back to Julien. Julien quickly ripped it out of his hand and eyed them distrustful. It only made them laugh even harder.

“That's my brother George”, the first twin grinned and pointed a finger at the other, “I'm Fred. And that's Lee”, he indicated Dreadlocks. Then he stretched out his hand. “Friends?”

Julien carefully took the offered hand and introduced himself as well. Just at that moment it occurred to him that his towel had become undone during their struggle and they all were butt naked. Involuntary, his gaze wandered down on the other boys. _Merde_ , they really were nicely hung! Julien would have sucked any of them right then if they had asked. He fought a hysteric giggle and quickly reached for his towel to cover his beginning erection.

“You got us nicely!”, George grinned.

“Froze the water, did you?”, Fred asked.

Julien nodded.

They fell silent for a moment, as a younger boy, Nigel from the evening before, entered the bathroom.

“Bonjour!”, Julien greeted him.

Nigel eyed them a bit embarrassed, mumbled a 'good morning' and then quickly went over to the urinal. When he had relieved himself, he took off his pyjamas and headed for the showers. Fred surreptitiously followed him with his eyes.

“Wanna see a real shower prank?”, he whispered, “quick, give me your wand!”

Julien shot him a curious glance and handed over the wand. All four of them leaned around the corner to watch. Nigel had his back turned to them and he was just stepping in front of one of the showers. Fred pointed the wand and mumbled some incantation.

When Nigel turned on the tap, instead of water, it started raining blood red from the shower head. Nigel screamed, jumped back and promptly sat down on his buttocks. Staring at the 'blood' shower, he panicky crawled backwards. When the four pranksters burst out laughing, Nigel turned around and finally noticed his audience. Scared, panicked, crying, and covered in the red mess like he had been in a terrible accident, he stared at them. It just made them laugh even more hysteric.

“That's how you do a shower prank!”, Fred snorted, and handed Julien back his wand.

“Did you see his face? He almost shat himself!”, George grinned.

“I think he did!”, Lee laughed.

Despite their schadenfreude, after they had calmed down, the three actually apologized to Nigel, who was still crying. Julien told him he was sorry, too. The Weasley twins even helped Nigel clean up before they took a shower themselves. Julien liked the guys more and more.

While they were washing themselves, Julien went over to the mirrors to take care of his hair. Its long strands were a bit curly, but with some diligence – and a liberal amount of Sleekeazy's hair potion – he managed to comb it down until it lay sleek and flat. He was still at it when the trio came back from the showers. They smiled mischievous when they saw him.

“Trying to impress the girls?”, Fred quipped and George quickly reached over and ruffled up Julien's hair again when they walked past. Julien got him with his elbow in retaliation. Laughing, the two fled the washroom, quickly followed by Lee.

“Idiots!”, Julien grinned. Then he had to start styling his hair all over again. He gave himself sleek and sweeping bangs, but on the sides and around the nape, he crunched up his hair again, before he fastened it with some more hair potion. Orderly, but also wild. Just how the girls liked it. And the boys, too. He critically examined his reflection in the mirror and grinned at it.

Just as he was giving his hair the finishing touch, Ron drowsily shuffled into the washroom, closely followed by Harry.

“Bonjour”, Julien smiled.

“Morning”, Ron mumbled.

“Hi”, Harry yawned.

The two shed their pyjamas and headed right for the showers. Julien waited a moment, then he sneaked after them to the entrance to the shower room to take a quick peek at the two. Ron was just taking a piss down the drain and he gave Julien a full frontal view of his equipment. Nice morning-wood. And those red pubes were just so sexy! Unlike his brothers, Ron only had a small tuft of red hair down there yet, but it just made him look even more tempting. Julien grinned. Sadly, Harry had his back turned and Julien didn't get to check him out. Yummy ass, though. When Ron finished peeing and looked up, Julien quickly withdrew. He silently left before the two could catch him and went back to their dorm room.

He had already dressed in his old Beauxbatons uniform when Ron and Harry finally returned from the showers. Neither of them seemed to have taken much time to do their hair. At least Ron's long hair was sleek by nature, Harry's was just a mess. While they put on their clothes, Julien managed to sneak a peek at him after all. Harry was still rather small down there, though maybe had had just taken a cold shower to wake himself up. Anyways, he was actually kinda cute. Julien wondered if any of the two was into other boys.

 

* * *

 

Julien's first breakfast at Hogwarts was a bit awkward. Like the evening before, he sat with Ron, Harry and Hermione at the Gryffindor table while Valentin was with his fellow Slytherins all the way at the other end of the hall. Julien didn't even get to say hello as he entered. But of course, Valentin came running over right after he had finished his meal.

“ _Bonjour Julien!_ ”, he called. Julien rose up and they greeted each other with a quick kiss, then Julien moved to the side to make room for his brother to sit down besides him. His housemates gave them strange looks and stopped talking or continued their chats in hushed voices, eyeing Valentin and him surreptitiously. Ron's stare was almost hostile, though he quickly looked away when Julien turned to him.

“Ron and his friend are going to show me around the castle”, Julien told Valentin, “want to come with us?”

“That's not a good idea!”, Ron interjected.

“Why not?”, Julien asked.

“Look, he can't.”

They all looked at each other awkwardly. Julien felt like the eyes of half the table were on him and his brother.

“That's OK. I already got plans with some roommates of mine”, Valentin said, uncomfortable. He took a quick look over his shoulder. “I gotta go, they're waiting for me! See you at lunch?” He just paused long enough for Julien to nod his agreement, then he was already up and ran over to some blonde boy who stood by the exit.

Hermione, Ron and Julien finished their breakfast, then the two gave Julien his tour like they had promised. They led him through the maze of corridors and showed him where the classrooms were, and Ron explained to him about the trick steps on the stairs, secret passages and shortcuts while Hermione added in bits about the history of the school. If Julien was honest, he was way more interested in Ron's forbidden passageways than Hermione's history lessons, but he was too polite to tell her, so he nodded dutifully and smiled while she talked.

They also warned him of his future teachers. McGonagall really was the typical, non-nonsense bore with a stick up her ass. The Defense agains the Dark Arts teacher was borderline insane, so Julien was looking forward to his lessons. Ron and Hermione especially warned him of Snape, the potions Professeur. According to Ron the man looked like an overgrown bat, smelled like one, too, always was in a foul mood and mean to everyone except his house students, whom he unabashedly favoured – though Julien suspected Ron might just not be very good at potions.

They arrived back at their dormitories just in time to get their things before the first lesson started. Julien thanked both Hermione and Ron for the tour. He bend over and gave Hermione a kiss on each cheek. She blushed and looked a bit surprised.

Ron smirked, but the stupid grin vanished from his face when Julien quickly planted a kiss on his cheek as well. Ron hurriedly stepped back before Julien could reach his other cheek. He stared at Julien confused and almost a tiny bit afraid. Blushing profoundly, he stammered: “I – uh – _stop that!_ ”, and urgently rubbed his cheek with his sleeve.

Julien fought a mischievous smile. “It is just a gesture of thanks”, he said, feigning confusion. He honestly had meant to show Ron his gratitude, but he was aware of the cultural differences and that Ron probably wasn't used to being kissed by other boys. He had wanted to see how Ron would react.

 

* * *

 

The first class that day was History of Magic and Ron and Harry warned Julien that it was the most boring subject of all. Hermione said it wasn't that bad, just the teacher didn't present it in the most interesting fashion. Julien went with Ron and Harry on this one, Hermione probably wouldn't have said a bad word about any subject.

He did not expected the two to play cards, though, and to pay no attention at all when their teacher entered the room – by floating in right through the blackboard. Julien stared at him, his new friends had forgotten to mention that Professeur Binns was, in fact, a ghost.

Binns floated over to the teacher's desk and sat down, or rather, he hovered above the chair. He didn't seem to mind that, with the exception of Hermione, none of his pupils so much as looked at him as he wished them a good morning. He immediately began lecturing about the Giant Wars in a droning voice, talking to no one in particular. The Professeur showed no indication that he had noticed his new student nor his irregular uniform. Maybe he ignored his students just as they ignored him, Julien thought. He wasn't even sure the ghost was aware of his students' presence or in case he was if he cared at all.

Julien looked around the room. Neville, who was sitting besides him, was snoring silently, his head tilted back and his mouth open, blissfully asleep. Ron and Harry still played cards. Others were reading or silently talking to each other. Only Hermione seemed to listen to the Professeur.

Julien sighed. Well, they had warned him. He tried to follow Binns' lecture for a while, but the ghost's drowning voice was worse than any sleeping spell. Looking for something to entertain himself, Julien got out a bit of parchment and began folding paper knights and a dragon from it. He got out his wand and charmed them so that they were moving on their own, the knights fighting the dragon. They advanced on the foul beast, fearlessly hacking away at its thick hide. Another tap with the wand and the dragon breathed fire on them, setting two of the knights – and, by accident, itself as well – on fire.

Julien quickly tried to put out the dragon with his hands, but the panicked parchment creature jumped away. A third knight caught on fire. Julien slapped at it, too, and the knights turned on him with their paper swords. When the fourth one started smouldering, Julien grabbed Neville's history book and slammed it down on them to smother the flames.

All the knights were dead, burned and squashed by history, and there was a tiny burn mark on the table where the dragon had expired. But Julien had managed to put out the fire. Neville stared first at the carnage, then at him with big, stupid eyes. So did half the classroom.

Julien handed Neville back his book. “Sorry”, he murmured. Neville continued to just stare at him. Julien snapped: “What?”

Neville quickly lowered his gaze and looked away again.

Binns hadn't even stopped talking, blissfully unaware of his surroundings, he just kept droning on. Julien settled back down in his seat. He was really starting to look forward to the next lesson and, even more, lunchtime.

 

* * *

 

The school bell finally saved them from Binns and Ron and Harry showed Julien the way down to the dungeons, where their Potions classes were held. On the way, they repeated their warning about their teacher. Though, the first thing Julien noticed when they entered the potions lab, was his brother. They were sharing that lesson with the Slytherins! He immediately ran over and hugged Valentin and they at once decided they would sit together.

For some reason, Julien's new friends didn't seem to share his joy. Neither did the blonde Slytherin boy, whom Valentin introduced as Draco, nor his two friends Gregory and Vincent. They exchanged some salient insults with Ron and Harry as the two went past. They were perfectly polite to Julien, though. Draco even lent them his book since they still only had their old ones from Beauxbatons.

When Professeur Snape entered the room, Julien couldn't help but think that Ron was right, the man really looked a bit like a sulky old bat. Those black robes probably were supposed to make him appear dark and sinister, but that look was so cliché, especially with skin as pallid as his, and the man really, really had to do something about that greasy hair of his!

Valentin grinned knowingly. Snape was his head of house, so he probably had met him before and he knew exactly what just went through his brother's head. “ _Th_ _at_ _hair!_ ”, Julien whispered, half amused, half mortified. Valentin giggled silently and nodded.

The second the Professeur reached the teacher's desk and turned to face them them, his class fell silent. A sour expression on his face, he slowly looked them over, his gaze stopping at Julien and Valentin. His cold eyes examined their Beauxbatons uniforms, disapproving.

“Good morning!”, he finally greeted his class, “as you already know, we have two new students at Hogwarts. Please welcome Messrs Valentin and ...?”

“Julien”, Julien said.

“Julien Lambert. Mr Lambert, why don't you go and sit with Miss Granger and Mr Zabini can come over and sit with your brother.”

Julien had already noticed that no other Gryffindor and Slytherin students sat together and that he was the only Gryffindor in this half of the room.

“We would like to sit together, Professeur! If that is okay?”, Valentin asked.

It apparently wasn't, for Snape stared at them even more darkly, but he grudgingly allowed it.

After that was decided, the Professeur told his class to open their books. “Page forty-seven. Some of you no doubt will benefit from today's assignment. Wit-sharpening potion. Maybe you should start immediately”, he suggested, looking right at Neville.

Julien grinned. The Professeur even more resembled a bat when he smirked like that.

Valentin poked him with his elbow, he pointed at the recipe in Draco's book. “Look! Racine de gingembre, scarabée, and ... and ... that's a tatou, right?”, he pointed at the 'amandillo bile' in the list of reagents, “That's a potion d'esprit!”

“We brewed that right at the start of the year!”, Julien agreed. He quickly got his old Beauxbatons book out and skimmed through it. When he had found the right page, he put the two books side by side and they studied both recipes.

“They read almost the same”, Julien said.

“Except for that last step”, Valentin pointed at the final paragraph.

“Theirs says to immediately add the last of the gingembre”, Julien whispered, “but ours says to let it simmer for ten minutes first.”

“Yes, if you boil the gingembre it weakens the effect. That's why they take more of it!”, Valentin observed.

“Do you think we'll get extra credits for improving the recipe?”, Julien grinned.

“So you want to go with ours?”

“Of course!”

“Excellent!”

They both grinned at each other, then they got started. At first there were no differences between the instructions in the two books. Julien cut up the ginger root while Valentin filled his cauldron and set it up on the little fireplace at their table. Once the water was boiling, Valentin started to stir while Julien carefully added the ingredients.

While everybody was working, Professeur Snape silently moved up and down between the tables, looking more and more like an oversized bat. He glowered disapprovingly at one student; shook his head at the potion of another; he chewed out Neville for cutting his ginger roots too large, then again for cutting it to tiny; and he criticised Ron for using too many scarab beetles. He came by Julien and Valentin's table a few times, too, but he just stared at them darkly and never said a word, even though he must have noticed they had changed the recipe.

Once everybody had finished, Professeur Snape came by every table to examine the brews. It was obvious theirs was different for when they had added the ginger root, it had turned a dark orange while everybody else's was yellow – except for Neville's, which was lime green and got him a 'poor'. Julien felt a bit sorry for him. Neville had finished late and probably just didn't have the time to let his potion boil long enough, otherwise it would have turned out fine. No wonder with that stupid bat pestering him all the time and making him cut new ginger roots three times!

Finally, the 'bat' made his way over to their table. He stared at their potion, displeased. Grabbed a ladle-full and carefully sniffed at it. Poured it back into the cauldron, checking the viscosity. He stirred it, finally put the ladle back down. He turned to Julien.

“I noticed you did not follow the recipe, Mr Lambert.”

“No, Professeur, we did not”, Julien agreed, “we-”

“Two points from Gryffindor for your inability to follow even simplest instructions, Mr Lambert!”, Snape cut him off, then he turned to Valentin, “Mr Lambert, this potion is excellent! Two points for Slytherin!”

With that, he turned away to get to the next table. Julien and Valentin exchanged a perplexed look. Valentin jumped up.

“ _Professeur Snape!_ ”, he called.

The Professeur stopped and turned back to give him an indignant stare.

“It was Julien's change to the recipe that improved the potion! Either deduct points from both of us or give both of us bonus points!”, Valentin demanded.

Julien rose up as well.

Other students looked over and started whispering among themselves. Behind the Professeur's back, Ron panicky moved his hand above his throat in a cutting motion.

Snape just glared at them. “Ten points from both of you for your insolence. Sit down immediately!”, he hissed.

For a moment, the twins started at him defiantly. Ron was still urgently signalling Julien to back down. Slowly, Julien sat down again and, hesitantly, Valentin followed his example. Snape eyed each one threateningly, then he abruptly turned around and stepped over to Draco's table.

“ _Enfoiré!_ ”, Valentin mumbled under his breath.

“ _Connard!_ ”, Julien whispered in silent agreement.

After class, they went over to Draco to return the borrowed book.

“You two are idiots! You can't talk back to the Professor like that!”, Draco laughed.

“He was unfair and he was wrong!”, Julien pouted.

Draco turned serious and huffed: “Next time just let him take the stupid points! You're lucky you didn't get yourself into detention”, he impatiently turned to Valentin, “you coming?”

Valentin hesitated and eyed Julien. Julien looked over to Ron, Harry and Hermione, who were already waiting for him, too. “See you after lunch!”, he quickly said and rushed over to his friends.

“Hey”, Draco called after him, “word of advice: Don't hang out with that looser Potter and his blood traitor and mudblood friends!”

Julien looked back at him. “Right, merci bien!”, he replied awkwardly before he hurried along.

Ron was more sympathetic than Draco. He had the most stupid grin on his face and as soon as they were on the corridor and safely out of earshot, he hollered: “Man, that was awesome! I thought the stupid bat would burst a blood vessel for sure!”, he enthusiastically patted Julien on the back, “you know what? You're right! I was wrong, your brother is OK, even if he accidentally got sorted into Slytherin!”

Julien couldn't help but grin, too. Though, he really didn't get that stupid rivalry between the houses. At Beauxbatons there hadn't been any houses.


	3. New School Uniforms

After lunch Hermione, Ron and Harry went to their elective courses. Since Julien hadn't chosen his yet, he and Valentin reported to Professeur McGonagall's office instead. The Professeur was going to take them to Hogsmeade so they could buy their Hogwarts uniforms and other school supplies. But before they left, she handed them each a piece of parchment with the list of elective subjects.

“You have to pick at least two, but you can take as many as you want as long as they fit your schedule”, she explained.

Julien looked over the list.

“Care for Magical Creatures is a practical class, like, we get to work with real creatures, c'est exact?”, he asked. They had had the subject at Salem before, but to their disappointment, it had been strictly theoretical.

“Yes”, Professeur McGonagall confirmed, “besides his teaching duties, Professor Hagrid actually is Hogwart's gamekeeper.”

“Cool.”

Valentin whispered: “Draco said the teacher is a stupide moron!”

“Ron and Hermione actually said he was really nice. Plus they and Harry all have Care for Magical Creatures”, Julien argued.

“Well, Draco does, too. But I don't know ...”, Valentin murmured, indecisive.

“Come on! _Live animals!_ Just think of the mischief!”, Julien begged.

“Bien”, Valentin agreed.

They both grinned.

Their second elective was more difficult.

“Maman would want us to continue with Divination”, Valentin mused.

“I couldn't see the future if my life depended on it!”, Julien complained.

“ _I know!_ ”, Valentin agreed, silently, he added: “and the teacher is totally dingue.”

“Yeah, my roommates said so, too”, Julien muttered. Even Hermione had agreed that the teacher was a kook.

“Not everybody has an aptness for Divination”, Professeur McGonagall suggested, “maybe you should explore other subjects that are more ... precise.”

“What about Muggle Studies?”, Julien asked. The subject hadn't been taught at any of their previous schools and it sounded cool. Julien had always been fascinated by the stories his né-Moldu schoolmates told and the little gadgets they owned.

“But I want to take Arithmancy! They're at the same time”, Valentin disagreed.

“You don't have to take the same courses. Why don't you both take the ones you like?”, McGonagall suggested.

“ _Non!_ ”, the two burst out together.

McGonagall looked perplexed.

“We always take the same courses!”, Julien informed her, confused at her confusion.

“So it's decided then”, Valentin agreed, “Arithmancy!”

“Non! Muggle Studies!”, Julien insisted.

They angrily stared at each other.

Professor McGonagall sighed. She asked: “Did you learn about either of those subjects at your previous schools?”

“Non”, Julien admitted, “but we know about Muggles! We have muggle-born friends! We even rode a car once!”, he proudly added.

“Yeah”, Valentin laughed, “you had to puke!”

“Salaud!”, Julien screamed at him.

“Mauviette!”, Valentin retorted.

The Professeur cleared her throat. Julien and Valentin stopped their exchange of pleasantries and looked at her, innocent. She eyed them both sceptically, she _so_ wasn't buying it. But instead of reprimanding them for their language, she took some parchments from her desk drawer and studied them.

“Maybe you two _gentlemen_ ”, she especially stressed the word 'gentlemen', “could join the third year beginner classes for Arithmancy and Muggle Studies. They're at different times and they won't clash with your other lessons either.”

Julien and Valentin looked at each other, they both shrugged.

“Bien”, they agreed.

McGonagall made a note on her papers.

That problem finally settled, the Professeur got up and led the two boys out of her office, back to the entrance hall and through the huge wood-and-iron gate. Once outside the castle, she went down the same, winding path around the lake that the twins had taken in the opposite direction the previous evening. By day the forest looked far more friendly and the winged boar statues at the gate were actually rather funny-looking than menacing. The walk seemed far shorter, too, and soon they saw the first houses of Hogsmeade before them.

Professeur McGonagall turned down the main road and led them towards a shop that called itself 'Gladrags Wizardwear'. On proud display in the window were what had to be the most garishly coloured socks Julien had ever seen in his entire life, one more lurid than the next. The fancy evening gown and dress robe also on display paled in comparison. As the twins followed McGonagall inside, Julien eyed his brother. Valentin, too, was staring at the sock-display, wide-eyed. Julien grinned.

Sadly, inside the shop looked almost like a normal clothing store, if a bit fancy. Not that there was anything wrong with fancy clothing shops. Julien eyed a showy dress with a rather short skirt. That one might even be their size. He wondered if the Professeur would allow them to browse after they got their uniforms ... and how he'd get Valentin to try on the dress.

Professeur McGonagall approached the counter and told the witch that leaned on it, watching them, bored: “These two gentlemen need school uniforms.”

“Of course”, the saleswitch smiled and came over. She looked Julien and Valentin over, “those are Beauxbatons uniforms, are they not?”, she asked, suddenly turning more lively, “I've been in France myself for a few years. Ah, the new uniforms are so cute! Really a shame Hogwarts is still going for that old look. Anyways, you two just transferred to Hogwarts?”

“Oui”, Julien said.

“We just moved to England”, Valentin added.

“Oh, then you need three sets each?”

The two nodded.

“Right away! If you'll follow me”, the witch said and guided them to the back of the shop. “I bet you think it's really cold up here, you poor things are probably freezing in those thin robes!”, she babbled on, “do you need winter cloaks, too? I'll get you really warm ones! Do you miss the Pyrenees much? You do, don't you! The weather in France is so much nicer, too!”

In the back, there was a small fitting room, its walls covered with shelves full of school uniforms in different colours and sizes. Most were of the kind Julien had seen on his new schoolmates, but there were others, too. He even glimpsed a robe in the blood-red colours of Durmstrang. One Hogwarts boys' and one girls' uniform were on display on two mannequins. Julien noticed that Valentin was eyeing the girls' uniform, and grinned. Though, he had to admit, that little skirt indeed looked kinda cute.

“Would the first of you please take off their robe and step up, so I can fit you up for your new uniforms!”, the saleswitch interrupted Julien's musings and pointed at a small footstool, “by the way, did you already get sorted into houses?”

Valentin handed Julien his Beauxbatons robe and stepped on the stool first.

“I'm Slytherin”, he said.

The witch grabbed a black robe with a green trim and handed it to him. Valentin donned it and the witch began to quickly pin down the hem.

“Six uniforms in Slytherin colours then?”, she asked while she worked.

“No, my brother is Gryffindor.”

The saleswitch seemed surprised, though she smiled and nodded. She finished with the robes, them she got out a magic tape measure and had it take Valentin's size for the trousers and his shirt. While she was busy fitting up Valentin, Julien's gaze wandered back to the girls' uniform. He definitely liked the skirt. He wondered if maybe he could try it on afterwards, just for a moment.

Valentin jumped down from the footstool.

“I'm not finished yet”, the saleswitch protested.

“I'm tired of this! Just take my brother's measures, we're the same size anyways!”, he dismissed her complains and walked over to Julien.

The witch muttered to herself, but she got up to fetch a set of robes for Julien. Valentin followed Julien's gaze to the girls' uniform.

“Like it, tapette?”, he whispered.

“Pédé!”, Julien returned, “and the skirt is kinda cute”, he admitted, silent.

Valentin grinned mischievous: “Dare you to get one!”

“ _You-_ ”, Julien huffed but swallowed his answer as the witch returned.

He gave his brother an angry stare, stepped onto the footstool and let her fit up his robe in silence. Valentin still had this idiot smile on his face. If that stupid con thought Julien would back away from his stupid dare, he'd better think again!

“Alright”, the saleswitch finally said, “all done. Three sets of Gryffindor uniforms and three sets in Slytherin colours. Do you need anything else? Oh, and which names should I put on the tags?”

“Julien Lambert for Gryffindor and Valentin Lambert for Slytherin”, Julien said, “and I want my third set to be a girls' uniform!”

Valentin had to bite his lips to stop himself from bursting out laughing. The saleswitch looked at Julien, confused at first, so he repeated his request. She told him that that wasn't possible, but now Julien was committed. He remained adamant.

“Floo our papa!”, he demanded, “he'll allow it!”

He even told her where to reach their father at the embassy. They were only supposed to floo papa at work in case of an emergency, but Julien figured loosing a dare against his brother counted as one. Luckily, the saleswitch carved in before he had to actually put that theory to the test.

“Two boys' and one girls' uniform in Gryffindor colour it is then”, she sighed.

Valentin was laughing so hard, he was having a fit.

“No! In Slytherin colours. I'm Valentin, he's Julien”, Julien quickly corrected and shot his brother a most evil grin.

Valentin almost choked. He coughed. “Oh, yeah?”, he spluttered, “I'm getting a girls' uniform as well!”

Now Julien had to bite his lips to keep from laughing.

The saleswitch didn't look happy. Not happy at all. But she had already given in once and Valentin – now in his new role as Julien – seemed just as determined as his brother. So in the end they both got each other their girls' uniforms.

The witch led them back to the front, where an impatient Professeur was waiting for them. The Professeur quickly put down the ghastly sock she had been examining with some kind of morbid fascination and came over.

“Anything else or would that be all?”, the saleswitch asked, tired.

For a second, Julien thought of buying that pair of socks as a mock present for Professeur McGonagall, but her facial expression disabused him of that idea. So he silently shook his head and they just paid for their uniforms.

“When will the uniforms be done?”, the Professeur wanted to know.

“I'll start right away”, the witch told them, “you can pick them up in about an hour.”

Professeur McGonagall nodded. She thanked the saleswitch and led the boys outside. “We can get your books and other supplies in the meantime”, she told the twins. Waving happily at the saleswitch, Julien and Valentin ran after her. Somehow, the witch looked almost relived when they left.

“Can't we explore the village a bit?”, Julien asked.

“You aren't here for pleasure, you're here to get your school supplies”, Professeur McGonagall reminded him and went down the street with determined steps. Julien and Valentin tagged along, longingly looking at the displays of the shops they passed.

The one right next to the bookshop especially caught their eye, Honeydukes was its name. Ron had told Julien about it, they sold all kinds of sweets you could imagine and then some. Valentin apparently had heard about them, too. He poked Julien with his elbow and pointed at the shop with his eyes. The Professeur was a few steps ahead and was looking the other way, so they just decided to make a quick run for it.

“Where do you two delinquents think you're going?”, her voice stopped them.

“Just buying a few sweets! We'll catch up to you in a second”, Valentin said.

Julien begged: “We'll only be a moment!”

“You won't even notice we were gone”, Valentin agreed.

They both gave Professeur McGonagall their best innocent grins. For some reason, she didn't seem to fall for it. She gave them a stern look and reprimanded them: “Stop dawdling! You wasted enough time at the tailor already!”

“It's not out fault she took ages to fit our robes!”, Julien complained.

Valentin nodded furiously.

But the Professeur wasn't in the mood to argue. Under her watchful eyes, the twins grudgingly marched over to the bookstore.

Its dimly-lit inside was completely cramped up with rows and rows of dusty shelves filled to the brim with all kinds of tomes. A small counter almost vanished behind the stacks of books. In-between them, a scrawny wizard leaned over it to look at them.

“Welcome to Tomes and Scrolls! How may I be of service?”, he asked in a thin voice.

The Professeur pushed them further inside. “These two gentlemen need schoolbooks”, she said, then she turned to the twins, “do you have the list of textbooks from your acceptance letters?”

Julien and Valentin eyed each other. McGonagall sighed and searched through the depths of her robes. After a moment, she produced a piece of parchment with a list of books, which she handed to the thin wizard.

The saleswizard looked it over and nodded. “Just a moment”, he wheezed, and shuffled over to a nearby shelf of books. “You need two of each?”, he asked while browsing over the books with his finger.

“Qui”, Julien agreed.

The wizard pulled out two copies and put them down onto the counter, then he went over to another shelf. The twins boredly watched the two stacks of books grow as the saleswizard slowly added more tomes to them.

“Can we go browse the shop ourselves?”, Valentin asked the Professeur.

“You'll also need books for your elective courses, why don't you two go fetch them yourself?”, Professeur McGonagall suggested.

The twins grinned and nodded, then they ran over to vanish between the rows of bookshelves. There were all kinds of books and they were sorted into different categories. Transfiguration, potion making, there even was an entire section of books on fire charms! Julien examined them more closely. Some looked a bit scorched, others made tiny sizzling sounds when he stepped closer and one that was bound in dragonhide felt warm when he touched it. Before he could pick it up, Valentin grabbed his shoulder and forced him away from the books and pulled him with him to the other side of the shelves.

“They got a whole row on curses and dark arts!”, he whispered, excited.

Julien grinned, too.

His brother already had a copy of 'Magick Moste Evile' in his hands and he added a book on Jinxes to it. Julien got himself a copy of 'Curses and Counter-Curses'. He was just looking for some other book titles that sounded fun when he noticed a tome named 'Moste Potente Potions'. That didn't sound like it belonged into the section on curses. He pulled it out and opened it. Like he had suspected, it was on potion making. He wasn't sure why it had been sorted into the wrong section, but skimming through the index, it sounded interesting, so he decided to buy it, too.

He slowly made his way over to the next section, magic animals and creatures. Ron had told him 'Fantastical Beasts and Where to Find Them' was a good introductory book on the subject of Care for Magical Creatures and fun to read, so Julien snatched up a copy of it. They had dropped out of Care for Magical Creatures at Salem after a few weeks, so he and Valentin had a whole year worth of lessons to catch up on.

Julien found their actual textbook for the class locked away in a separate cabin and he had to call for the saleswizard to unlock it for him. The man didn't look too happy as he slowly shuffled over and handed Julien two copies of the particularly big and heavy textbook, that was held shut by a thick leather belt. It was bound in greyish-brown hide that still had some tufts of fur on it. The front of the book almost looked like the face of some sort of monster itself, it even had some fake teeth that protruded from its cover.

In fact, as Julien dropped the two bulky tomes on the counter, the upper one opened four beady eyes to stare at him. Intrigued, Julien picked it up again to examine it closer. The book looked back at him and made a kind of half-purring half-growling sound, like it wasn't sure yet what to make of its future owner. It gently shook in his hands like it wanted to be freed.

Julien carefully fumbled with the buckle, the thick belt was strapped down really tight, but finally he managed to undo it.

“Don't open that book!”, McGonagall and the saleswizard both screamed at him at the same time.

“What? Why?”, Julien asked.

But he had already done it. The second the belt opened, the seemingly docile tome suddenly came to life and tried to bite off Julien's arm. “Merde alors!”, he screamed and dropped the rabid thing. With a loud thump, it hit the floor.

“Merlin, no! Don't let it go loose!”, the saleswizard panicky yelled in his thin voice.

Disoriented, the book shook itself, then it turned towards Julien's feet. The fall just seemed to have enraged it even more. Snarling furiously, it went right for his ankle. Julien stumbled back in the brink of time. He jumped up and sat down on the counter to get out of harm's way. The angry tome stared up at his dangling feet, safely out of its reach, and hissed frustratedly. Just then Valentin, drawn by the commotion, stepped into its field of view. The book immediately rushed at him. He wasn't as fast as Julien and it got a hold of his boot. With a surprised yelp, Valentin went down.

He recovered quickly and kicked at the mad textbook with his other foot, but it stubbornly refused to let go of him. Professeur McGonagall had her wand drawn, but she didn't dare to attack the book out of feat to hurt Valentin. Julien seized the opportunity and jumped on top of it. The book hissed and snarled wildly, but Julien knelt down on it and held it in place with his weight. With his help, Valentin managed to free his foot, though the book still held on to his boot. It shook furiously and tried to get away from Julien. Valentin snatched up the belt and together the twins tried to pull it around the struggling book again.

Even when they finally had it securely restrained again, the textbook still angrily hissed at them. The twins eyed each other, then Valentin wordlessly grabbed his boot with both hands while Julien pulled at the book. It stubbornly held on to its prize. They pulled again and on their second attempt, the two managed to rip out the boot from its jaws.

Valentin wide-eyedly examined the bite marks the book had left in it.

“Is any of you hurt?”, McGonagall asked.

“Non”, Valentin said, then he looked back at the huge scratches on his boot, “they're ruined! Those were dragon leather”, he complained.

“Are you sure you got it securely bound again?”, the saleswizard interrupted in a shaky voice.

“Pardonnez-moi!”, Julien apologized to his brother, though he couldn't help but grin.

Valentin turned to their teacher: “What the fuck is that thing?”

“We don't use that kind of language, young man!”, Professeur McGonagall reprimanded him.

“What _is_ that thing?”, Valentin insisted.

“It's an abomination!”, the saleswizard spluttered, “thank Merlin you managed to restrain it again before it got at the other books!”

Julien grinned happily and informed his brother: “That is your Care for Magical Creatures textbook!”

Valentin stared at him, disbelieving. Then he started to laugh, too. “Cool!”

McGonagall rolled her eyes. She picked up one of the books Valentin had dropped. Her brows narrowed.

“Magick Moste Evile?”, she asked, “the Dark Arts are no appropriate reading material at your age, young man!”

“We learned about the Dark Arts at Durmstrang!”, Valentin protested, quickly snatching up his other book.

“Hogwarts is not Durmstrang”, Professeur McGonagall insisted, “show me that other book!”

“It's just some practical joke jinxes”, Valentin argued, “they're really harmless!”

“We know half of them already anyways”, Julien agreed.

It was no use, McGonagall confiscated the second book as well. Then she turned to Julien and he quickly stepped between her and his stack of books that lay on the counter.

“Come on, let me see them!”, she demanded.

Julien turned around, but while he pretended to pick them up, he quickly slipped 'Curses and Counter-Curses' under his robe. Then he handed the Professeur his remaining two books.

'Fantastical Beasts and Where to Find Them' she returned to him, and, with a glance at the snarling monster books even lauded his decision to get some _real_ book on Care for Magical Creatures. Though she frowned when she put her eyes on 'Moste Potente Potions'. “That's hardly age appropriate either! Those potions are dangerous!”

“We both got an 'Excellent' in the advanced potions class at Salem!”, Julien told her and tried to snatch the book out of her hand.

“If Professor Snape thinks you're ready, you can get his permission to read up on such advanced topics in the school library”, the Professeur remained adamant. She handed the rejected books back to the saleswizard.

The twins watched as he returned them to their shelves, unhappy.

“Rabat-joie!”, Valentin muttered under his breath.

Julien nodded.

 

* * *

 

“Professor Snape asked me to remind you that you'll have to check your stock of potion ingredients. We probably should visit the Apothecary next”, Professeur McGonagall said as they left the bookstore and, without pause, she walked ahead. When they passed Honeydukes, the twins eyed the sweets shop again. McGonagall followed their longing looks.

“Oh, well, a small detour will be alright, I guess”, she allowed.

Grinning widely, Julien and Valentin ran inside.

“But only one item for each of you!”, she called after them as she followed them into the shop. “Your fellow schoolmates won't get to visit Hogsmeade till the end of the month and you don't want them to be jealous, do you?”, she added.

Julien only heard her with half an ear, he was looking around the shop. There had to be hundreds of different kinds of chocolate on display, filling an entire shelf. Huge barrels held all kinds of toffees and bonbons, two were entirely filled with Every Flavour Beans. They sold pink coconut ice cream that didn't melt, ice mice that made your teeth squeak, peppermint toads that hopped in your stomach and shelves upon shelves filled with even more sweets. Julien's mouth watered just from looking at them all.

He picked up a pack of chocolate cauldrons, Fred had told him they were really good. He showed them to Valentin, but before they could examine them any closer, the Professeur took them out of their hands.

“You can't have those!”, she told them, “you wouldn't like them anyways. They're filled with firewiskey! You're a bit young for that.”

The twins gave her an annoyed look, but they obediently turned around to find some other, stick-up-her-ass-crone-approved sweets instead.

Valentin went with a box of nougat chunks while Julien got a bunch of different kinds of chocolate.

“We should get sweets for all our new classmates!”, he suggested to his brother.

“That's a great idea!”, Valentin immediately agreed.

They got two big paper bags and began to stuff them with all kinds of bonbons, toffees and lollipops, the occasional exploding bonbon, liquorice spider and acid pop included.

“I said only one item each!”, Professeur McGonagall reminded them, laughing but still looking stern.

“They're for our classmates!”, Valentin explained.

“As a gift to thank them for the great welcome they gave us!”, Julien said and stuffed a hand full of pepper imps into his bag.

“Well, that is a nice thought”, the Professeur agreed.

So Julien and Valentin added more sweets until both their bags were full. Julien even added a few blood-flavoured lollipops for good measure. In case they had any vampire classmates. He made a mental note to stake anyone who took one of those – just to be sure.

After the two had paid for their loot, McGonagall pushed past them to buy the box of chocolate cauldrons she had confiscated from them for herself. Then she turned to leave. The twins watched her, indignant.

She noticed their looks. “Oh, alright”, she told them once outside, “you can try one each.” She unwrapped the pack of chocolate cauldrons and offered it to them. “But I warned you, you won't like the taste!”

Julien and Valentin grinned and thanked her. They each took a chocolate cauldron and so did the Professeur. It actually did taste quite bitter when Julien bit down on it, but he stubbornly swallowed the first bite full and stuffed the remaining half into his mouth, angrily chewing on it. It left him with the same prickling, hot feeling down his throat that wine did. Only, it tasted way worse than wine.

By the look on Valentin's face, he didn't like his chocolate cauldron either.

“Well?”, the Professeur asked.

“I love it!”, Julien and Valentin exclaimed as one.

Professeur McGonagall shook her head, a knowing smile on her face. Then she led them down the street to a nearby Apothecary.

 

* * *

 

Once they had restocked their potion ingredients, the Professeur wanted to head back to the tailor. It hadn't been an hour yet, so Julien asked if, instead of waiting, they could explore the village some more. Professeur McGonagall allowed it, though she wasn't too happy when Julien immediately dragged his brother off in the direction of Zonko's. Zonko's was a joke shop Fred and George had told him about. And they sure had more joke and trick products on sale than Julien could have dreamed about.

He picked up a pack of dungbombs and jabbed Valentin with his elbow to show him his find. They both grinned and Valentin immediately snatched up a pack for himself as well.

“Those are banned at Hogwarts”, the Professor, who had been tagging along, reminded them. The twins glanced at her, annoyed, but they put the dungbombs back.

“We didn't intend to use them at school!”, Julien told her, offended.

Valentin grabbed his arm and pulled at it. “Look at that!”, he excitedly pointed at a fanged frisbee, “I always wanted one of those!”

“Those are forbidden as well”, Professeur McGonagall said softly.

Valentin pouted.

“Can't you wait outside?”, Julien demanded.

“Qui! You're cheating!”, Valentin agreed, “you aren't supposed to be in here with us while we buy stuff!”

McGonagall seemed skeptical.

Since she wouldn't leave, the twins grudgingly settled for some frog spawn soap and a few other boring items. As they headed for the cashier, Valentin fell behind a few steps, pretending to browse the shelves while Julien kept the Professeur busy.

“It's not fair”, he complained, “now you'll automatically suspect us if, say, someone happened to use any of that stuff in an inappropriate manner!”

Valentin quickly slipped a box of stink pellets into his pocket, shot Julien a sly grin and ran after them.

“It's like you're already punishing us for the intention alone!”, Julien continued.

“ _Presumed_ intention”, Valentin corrected him.

“There is an appropriate use for nose-biting teacups?”, the Professeur queried, intrigued.

“The only appropriate use is to use them inappropriately!”, Valentin said as he pushed past Julien to pay for his first.

“But you are supposed to have to prove that it was us first!”, Julien huffed.

“The school rules aren't a game, you know that, right?”, Professeur McGonagall asked.

“ _Yeah, they are!_ ”, Julien and Valentin said as one, smiled at her innocently and ran past her before she could argue the point any further. The Professeur followed them outside.

She caught up to them at the herbology shop next door, where the twins excitedly watched a huge self-fertilising shrub devour a rat. The bush made some rather unsettling digestive sounds, then it oozed some mushy waste from a nodule near the base of its stem. The twins giggled. Sadly, the Professeur didn't consider the small self-fertilising shrubs also on sale acceptable student pets.

As they followed the main road, Julien spotted a little café down a small side street and suggested to get a bite to eat, but Professeur McGonagall said it was time to collect their uniforms and return to Hogwarts.

“Just a cup of tea!”, Julien begged on the way back to the clothier.

“We'll invite you”, Valentin agreed.

They felt they hardly had had time to explore the village and didn't want to leave yet, but McGonagall had enough of their stalling.

“No wonder you're hungry”, she said, “hurry up already! It'll be almost dinnertime before we're back at Hogwarts!”

The saleswitch had finished their robes and when they arrived she was already waiting for them with two big bags containing their new uniforms. Julien picked up Valentin's and Valentin his. The Professeur thanked the saleswitch again for her fast work and, now each packed with the big clothing bag in addition to their new books, the twins waved the witch goodbye and followed McGonagall outside.

The Professeur immediately turned towards the way out of the village, but after a few steps, Valentin stopped.

“I have to use the loo”, he announced.

The Professeur turned back to him. “Well, hurry up then, so we get back to the castle!”

“I can't wait that long!”, Valentin whined. He winked at Julien. He just happened to have stopped right in front of the Three Broomsticks. Julien winked back at him.

“I really have to pee, too”, he immediately piped in.

“Young man, at your age you should be able to wait a little! It's only-”

“It's really urgent! Can't we ask at a shop, s'il vous plaît?”, Valentin interrupted her, doing a pretend potty-dance.

“Qui, please!”, Julien begged, urgent.

The Professeur sighed, but as they had hoped, she gave in and led them over to the inn.

This early in the evening it was almost deserted, except for some haggard-looking old wizard who sat in a corner near the fireplace and nursed a firewiskey. Professeur McGonagall approached the bar, where the nice barkeeper from before was standing. Julien and Valentin happily waved at her and she smiled back at them. The Professeur asked her if the two boys could use the bathroom.

“The toilets usually are only for customers, but-”, she said.

The twins dropped their books on top of the bar and plopped themselves down in the chairs next to it.

“Two butterbeers for me and my brother!”, Julien ordered, “and a firewiskey for the dame!” He indicated McGonagall.

“No, we're in a hurry”, Professeur McGonagall corrected.

The barmaid looked at them curiously.

“Where is the harm?”, Valentin begged, “we're already here.”

“Plus it's on us! We'll invite you”, Julien agreed.

McGonagall narrowed her brows. “One drink”, she finally gave in. Though she settled for a butterbeer for herself as well and she insisted on paying for the three of them.

“Didn't you two have to use the loo”, she inquired as the barmaid brought over their beverages.

Valentin took a big swig of his butterbeer. “Qui, I'm totally bursting”, he grinned.

Julien gulped down his, too. He actually did have to go.

The twins quickly finished their beers, then Valentin asked the barmaid where the toilets were. She indicated a small corridor in the back of the room. Julien and Valentin got up. The passage led to a pair of doors, they entered the one indicated for gentlemen. It opened into a really small bathroom with just one toilet in the back and a tiny sink on the side. Julien and Valentin didn't mind, they were used to sharing the bathroom at home. Julien locked the door while Valentin already went ahead and positioned himself at the toilet and dropped his pants.

Julien quickly got over, too, but Valentin stepped in his way. Julien tried to get on his other side, but again Valentin got in his way. Hearing Valentin's piss hit the water made Julien have to go bad.

“Come on! I gotta go for real!”, he complained.

He tried to push Valentin to the side, but his brother wouldn't budge. Valentin teased him a bit more, then he finally made room so they could both stand at the toilet and Julien quickly stepped besides him. As he unzipped his pants, Valentin already finished. He shook off the last drops, then he stepped away and let Julien have the toilet all for himself. Julien took aim and with a sigh let go.

But just at that moment, Valentin pressed against him and embraced him from behind. Valentin's right hand closed around Julien's boyhood and he began to slowly jerk him while he rubbed himself against Julien's back. With a wince, Julien stopped his stream. He could feel his brother's member press against him. Valentin slipped his other hand under Julien's shirt and caressed his stomach.

“Stop it!”, Julien giggled.

He was already half stiff from his need to pee and Valentin wasn't helping matters. His hand around Julien's dick moved faster and he bend over to nibble at Julien's ear. As Valentin continued to hump him from behind, Julien could feel that his brother was starting to get stiff as well.

“At least let me finish peeing first! I really gotta go!”, Julien laughed.

Valentin tried to force him to turn around, he pressed a kiss on his neck.

“I'm gonna pee on you! I mean it!”, Julien threatened.

Valentin grinned, gave him another wet kiss, slobbering all over his cheek, then he painfully bite on his earlobe.

“Ow! I said wait!”, Julien complained and tried to push him away.

Valentin licked the inside of Julien's ear, making him laugh, but then he stopped and rested his chin on Julien's shoulder. He obediently aimed Julien's member down at the toilet bowl.

Julien exhaled deeply, it took him a moment to relax and start peeing again. His forceful stream hit the bowl, Valentin playfully aimed it a bit up so it splashed right into the water. Julien felt Valentin's hot breath on his cheek, felt the gentle touch of his hands. Julien had to fight against his member wanting to go all stiff. Valentin certainly was hard already, Julien could feel his prick pressing against his behind.

Julien was loosing the battle, too. He actually had to push real hard to get out the last few squirts of pee. Valentin waited to make sure he was finished, then he shook off the last drops of piss from Julien's dick, it turned into a slow, stroking motion.

Julien turned around to face his brother and their lips met for a long, greedy kiss. Valentin continued to play with Julien's member and caress his chest while Julien's hands eagerly pulled down his brother's trousers. He started to explore Valentin's body as well, his brother shivered as he closed his hand around his dick and slowly started to jerk him off. For a second their lips parted and Valentin gasped, then they pressed against each other again.

Valentin pushed up Julien's shirt even more and twisted his right nipple. Julien silently squealed in glee. He let his own hand wander down to Valentin's buttocks. Valentin's eyes grew wide as Julien pushed between them with his fingers and coyly pressed against his anus.

A loud knock on the door made them both wince. For a second they stood motionless, trying to control their heavy breathing.

“Are you still in there? What is taking you so long? We need to get back to Hogwarts!” McGonagall's voice asked.

“I need a moment! I'm taking a mauvais gros shit!”, Julien called out to her. He and Valentin both fought a mad giggle.

“Stop your dawdling and hurry up!”

Stupid old crone!

Since the hag wouldn't go away, the two hesitantly cut short their fun. They quickly got their clothes in order. Julien flushed the toilet, they both washed their hands and got out. The Professeur looked them over sternly. She ordered: “Get your books and let's go!”

 

* * *

 

They arrived back at Hogwarts with just enough time before dinner to take their new school supplies back to their dormitories. Since Julien still was Valentin and Valentin him, Julien went down to the castle dungeons, where the entrance to the Slytherin dormitories was hidden. On the way Valentin had filled him in on the layout of the dorms and his new friends and roommates.

Like Valentin had told him, Julien went past their potions classroom. The next door down the corridor was Professeur Snape's office. The stupid bat was his head of house now. Julien followed the mouldy corridor until he reached the statue of a grotesquely malformed gargoyle. He involuntarily shivered. It was wet and cold down here, and Julien almost thought he could hear the water of the lake behind the walls. Why anyone had thought it a good idea to put student dormitories down here was beyond him. He got the feeling that Valentin had tricked him to get out of this damp place. He sighed and looked up at the dog-faced stone monstrosity. “Serpent”, he said the password.

Nothing happened. Julien looked around. The walls all looked exactly the same, he couldn't make out any sign of a hidden passage. He repeated the password, without success. Maybe this was the wrong gargoyle? The stupid thing seemed to sneer down at him with its dogish grin. Julien was pretty sure this was the place Valentin had indicated. He hesitantly turned away from it and followed the corridor further down, but after the next corner it dead-ended in a wall.

Julien turned around and headed back for the gargoyle. Just when he approached the statue again, he saw the wall some ten metres away from it open and a student slip out. The boy turned in the direction of the stairs and walked away. Julien quickly ran over to where he had appeared. When he reached the place, the wall had already closed again and he couldn't see any indication of the secret passage. Valentin hadn't said to tell the password to the gargoyle, he had said the entrance was by it, right? “Serpent”, Julien said, facing the wall. It opened. Silently cursing his stupid brother, Julien went through the opening. He hoped Valentin had fun searching the eighth floor for the portrait of the fat lady before he figured out that Julien had _accidentally_ used the American floor numbering scheme when he had told him the way to the Gryffindor dormitories.

When Julien stepped into the Slytherin common room, he immediately forgot his annoyance at his brother. Wide stairs opened up into a big hall, and Julien stopped and gaped at the sight. He had been right when he thought he had heard water behind the walls. At the opposite end of the room huge underwater windows opened up directly into the lake like a giant aquarium! The water turned the dying daylight filtering through a greenish tint. Where bright red colours dominated the Gryffindor dorms, the furniture and tapestries here were of a dark green, making the room feel rather cold, the fireplace with its roaring fire seemed like the only warm place. Cold, but no less grand than the Gryffindor common room. The dark leather sofas and almost black wood cupboards in front of the ancient tapestries with intricate snake and skull ornaments all over the walls and furniture gave the place quite the imposing atmosphere.

Still looking around in amazement, Julien slowly descended the steps. Few other students were here at the moment, so he could take a moment without drawing looks. Then he remembered that he, too, should hurry to the great hall for dinner. He turned around, searching for the entrance to the dorms. Like Valentin had said, there were smaller passages on both sides of the entrance that led to the dormitories. To the left were the boys. Julien turned that way and followed up a stairway until it ended on a long corridor with rows of doors on just one side.

Most doors were open, and Julien peeked into the first dorm room. Like with the Gryffindors, each room was shared by four or five Slytherin boys. The ancient-looking four-poster beds were of the same dark wood as the furniture in the common room, with dark green silk hangings and bedding. But what immediately caught Julien's eyes was that each room had a huge window opening to the lake as well! Julien grinned like a fool. Maybe Valentin hadn't tricked him to switch places just to get out of this damp cellar after all.

Julien continued down the corridor, looking into every room he passed until he saw Valentin's trunk sitting at the foot-end of a bed. A boy was lounging on one of the other beds, reading. When Julien entered, the boy looked up, a bored expression on his face. He had ebony skin, high cheekbones and brown eyes with a look that send a shiver down Julien's spine. Julien had already met Draco, Vincent and Gregory, so this beauty had to be Blaise.

“Hi, Blaise”, Julien greeted him.

“Hi Valentin”, Blaise replied, indifferent, his eyes already wandering back to his book.

Julien dropped his new school robes and textbooks onto his own bed. To keep the conversation going, he asked: “You're not hungry yet? Everybody else is already at dinner.”

Blaise sighed almost inaudibly. “I guess”, he drawled.

Julien quickly stuffed his uniforms into Valentin's trunk. He eyed his books. The Monster book of Monsters glared back at him and tore at its shackles. He could put those away later.

“I'm going to have dinner”, Julien said and turned to the door. Halfway there, he looked back at Blaise. “You wanna come, too?”

Blaise's eyes darted up for a second to give him an almost annoyed stare, but then the boy carefully put a marker between the pages and closed his book. With one smooth movement he got up.

Blaise silently fell in besides him and they walked together, but he didn't seem to care much for the company. Every time Julien tried to start a conversation, Blaise would just glance at him for a second or two with those aloof eyes. Sometimes he murmured some short answer, sometimes he didn't. When they reached the Great Hall, Blaise just wordlessly went away and sat down with some girls at the Slytherin table. Julien wondered if maybe Valentin had done something to offend him. He went over to Draco and his friends, who had kept a seat for him.

Those guys were much friendlier. Though Draco looked a bit miffed when Gregory interrupted him to ask Julien about his stay at Durmstrang and if he knew Victor Krum in person. Draco had been in the middle of talking about his collection of miniature figures from the Bulgarian Quidditch team and he apparently didn't like having the spotlight taken away from him.

“We spoke a few times, but I wouldn't say I really know him. I mean, he was a few years my senior, toutça.”, Julien said slowly.

Gregory and Vincent both  seemed positively awed .

“So, how is he in person?”, Vincent blurted.

Even Draco was looking at Julien expectantly now.

“He's kinda nice actually”, Julien allowed. If he was honest, he had never paid much attention to Krum. The guy was kind of handsome, he guessed – if  one was into man mountains  like tha t. His three  room-mates were still staring at him. Staggering, Julien explained: “Like, he would still come to Quidditch training and give tips to the school teams and stuff like that ...”

“You've played against Krum?”, Gregory spluttered, excited.

“N-non”, Julien stuttered. The three looked disappointed, so he quickly added: “But he once helped me improve my aim with the Quaffle.”

In truth, Julien had never been good enough a player to be on one of the school teams. Back at Durmstrang they had really only been to the training because Valentin had had a crush on one of the beaters at that time. Sweet girl. Bit burly. Never even looked at Valentin twice. Julien still felt a bit bad for his brother.

Gregory and Vincent kept on interrogating him about Victor Krum the entire dinner. They were already back in the common room before Julien finally managed to turn their attention away from him. Draco had been silently listening in the entire time, though he still looked a bit upset, so Julien asked him about his collectible figurines.

“I got the whole Bulgarian national team”, Draco told him. He showed off the small figurine of Krum. “It's the special edition, all hand-signed by the players themselves!” He proudly pointed out the signature at the bottom.

“Wow, that's cool”, Julien agreed.

Back in the centre of attention, Draco's face immediately lit up. He dove into a recount of his visit to the Quidditch world cup finale. Though, he didn't seem to recall much of the game itself. He mostly talked about how he and his parents had sat with the Minister in his luxury box.

Julien only listened to Draco's bragging with half an ear. He had been to the world cup, too, his parents had taken Valentin, him and three friends from Beauxbatons to the semi-finals, Ireland versus Peru. They had stayed on a camping ground some twenty minutes away from the stadium, his mom had even allowed the boys to sleep in a tent on their own. They had arrived early on the day before the match and Julien and his friends had taken the afternoon to explore the woods behind the camping grounds. On the day of the game they all had walked to the stadium in the middle of a huge crowd of cheering witches and wizards. And on the last day they had visited a nearby muggle village with their parents. It had been great! Great way to say goodbye to his friends, too. A month later, he and his family had moved to England. Julien wondered what his friends were up to right now at Beuxbatons, he missed them.

Draco was still going on about his dad and the minister. Finally, he paused for a moment and Julien managed to ask Vincent and Gregory if they had been to the world cup, too. The two had actually gone there together. It sounded way more fun than sitting with some old geezers the whole time like Draco had. Julien wondered if maybe Draco was lonely and that was why he felt the need to boast so much.

Just then Draco stood up and excused himself to use the lavatories. Julien rose us as well. “I gotta take a piss, too!”, he told Vincent and Gregory and ran after Draco.

When he entered the bathroom, Draco was standing at the urinal. Julien stepped up to the one right besides him. Draco shot him a quick look and awkwardly shuffled to the side a bit to cover himself. Julien pretended he didn't notice. While he unbuttoned his trousers, he checked out Draco's equipment with his eyes. Draco was long and thin, a bit on the small side maybe, and he sprouted the most adorable little tuft of dark blonde hair above his boy-tail.

Julien got out his own member and aimed it down at the urinal. It wanted to go stiffly the second he pulled it out. He had felt horny ever since that old hag McGonagall had interrupted Valentin and him. While he peed, he leaned forward a bit so he got a better view of his neighbour.

“You look cute. I like your dick”, Julien told him.

Draco shot Julien a glance. When he saw where Julien was staring, he blushed and hurriedly turned away again.

Julien grinned: “Have you ever been sucked by another boy?”

Draco blushed some more. “N-no!”, he mumbled. Hurriedly, he pulled up his pants and almost fled to the sinks.

Julien quickly finished, too, and followed Draco to wash his hands as well. “If you ever change your mind, I'll suck you”, he told him, “any time.”

Draco eyed him, uneasy.

“N-no, thank you!”, he said, and ran out without drying up his hands.

Julien grinned. Definitely a cutie!

They rejoined their friends in the common room. Julien made sure he sat down on the couch right next to Draco. Draco awkwardly shifted to the side a bit. Julien grinned at him, naughtily, but he didn't make any more advances that evening. Draco seemed jumpy enough around him already – Valentin would never forgive him if he scared that cutie off completely!


	4. Secrets

The first night in his new dorm, Julien lay awake a long time, tossing around restlessly in his bed. He peered over to that stupid underwater window for what felt like the hundredth time. It made him nervous, like something was lurking in the black water outside, just out of sight. Several times now he thought he had seen the glimpse of an eery light out there, but every time he looked, there was only darkness. Probably just shattered moonlight, his imagination was playing tricks on him! Julien turned around and shut his eyes, tried to focus to the regular breathing of his sleeping roommates. In the silence of the night, the constant slushing of the water against the window seemed much louder. Julien shuddered. On top of it all, the stupid lake was making him have to pee! He tossed around again and tried to ignore his full bladder, but trying not to think of it only made him think of it even more.

With a silent sigh he finally gave up, pushed away his blanket and sat up. While he slipped on his shoes, he reached for his wand.

“ _Lumos_ ”, he whispered, and the tip of the wand began to glow in a white light, casting spooky shadows on his surroundings. His roommates were fast asleep.

Julien silently got up and turned towards the door, then he followed down the dark corridor in the direction of the bathrooms. As he entered, they lay dark and deserted as well. Julien slipped in and, lighting the way with his wand, quickly ran over to the row of urinals. He gave the looming shadows at the edge of his small cone of light a wary look. Then he hastily pulled down his pants with one hand while he held up the glowing wand with his other, keeping an eye on the shadow figures around him as he hurriedly took care of his business.

When he had finished, he quickly pulled up his pants and turned around. With silent steps, he approached the sinks. He had to put down the wand to wash his hands, and for a moment he was in utter darkness, then he quickly grabbed the wand again.

“ _Lumos!_ ”, he shrieked, spinning around to face the black figure behind him he thought he had seen in the mirror, but the rekindled light from his wand revealed the room to be as empty as before. Julien breathed a sigh of relief, then he quickly turned off the water.

He turned to leave. He had his hand on the door handle already, when he heard silent footsteps on the corridor outside. He immediately hid behind the door and extinguished his light. The tiny steps got closer, they were almost at the bathroom door. Julien grinned and got ready. He was going to scare the piss out of that poor sod!

But whoever was sneaking around outside, he wasn't headed for the loo. The tiny steps reached the bathroom door without stopping, then they seemed to grow more distant again. Julien waited a moment longer until he was certain, then he creeped forward and opened the door a crack to peek through.

In the darkness he could barely make out a shadowy silhouette making his way down the stairs towards the common room. Who was lurking around the school in the middle of the night with no light? And why? They couldn't be up to any good. A duel to the death? Taking part in dark rituals? Secret meeting with their girlfriend? Naturally, Julien hurried after the dark figure.

When he reached the end of the stairs, he hid behind the arch of the doorway and took a furtive look around. Except for eery shadows cast by the pale moonlight filtering through the underwater windows, the common room lay in darkness. A few embers still glowed in the fireplace. Julien tried to make out the other person among the dancing shadows. The only sound was that of the water quietly lapping against the windows.

He almost jumped when the silence was pierced by the grating of stone against stone. The secret passageway! Julien had to fight a relieved giggle. He quickly darted around the corner, just in time to get a glimpse of the other boy before the wall completely closed between them again. _Blaise!_ Julien had only seen him for a second, but he was pretty sure it had been his roommate.

He waited until he was sure Blaise was far enough away so he wouldn't hear, then he whispered the password. As soon as the wall opened, Julien slipped outside and immediately crouched down behind the gargoyle statue. As far as he could see in the darkness, the corridor was deserted. Julien got up and ran in the direction of the potions classroom and the great starcase, the only way Blaise could have taken. He ran past Professeur Snape's office and the door to the potions classroom until he reached a crossway. Here the corridor split into three, Julien silently approached the corner and took a peek in all three directions. Some distance ahead, Blaise was scurrying down the corridor to the right.

The kid was acting decidedly suspicious, he would stop and nervously look around from time to time. Once, he almost saw Julien, but Julien was lucky and managed to hide in a corner just in time. From then on, Julien kept more distance between them, although he also feared loosing Blaise if he let him run ahead too far. The dungeons were kinda scary at night, especially since Julien didn't dare to light his wand. Besides, he didn't know his way down here all that well and he wasn't sure where Blaise was headed. In fact, Julien wasn't even sure he would find the way back to their dorms on his own without getting utterly lost. And Julien definitely didn't want that. By his best guess they were headed in the general direction of the great hall, just a storey or two below it.

After a while, the damp dark corridors ended in a broad, brightly lit hallway. Blaise nervously looked around, then he quickly walked down the hallway to the left. Julien sneaked after him and hid behind a suit of amour. Huge paintings, mostly depicting food, covered the walls. Blaise approached a wooden door, took another anxious look over his shoulder, then he vanished into the room behind it.

Julien was just about to run after him when he hear a sound from the other end of the corridor, where some huge barrels lay in a nook. He quickly hid again just in time before an boy appeared between the barrels. He was about the same age as Julien, a bit on the plump side, but not really fat, and he had half-long, blonde hair. Just like Blaise and Julien, he was only wearing pyjamas. He took a furtive look around before he fully stepped onto the corridor, then he hurried over to the same door Blaise had disappeared through. He took one last scared look around and quickly entered. Julien waited a moment to make sure there weren't any more nightly wanderers, then he sneaked over. As he approached the door, he heard whispers from the other side. Julien crouched down to take a peek through the keyhole.

Blaise and the other boy were standing right in Julien's line of sight, hardly a metre or two from the door. He saw few chests and barrels scattered around the back, some kind of storage room, probably. Blaise had his arms wrapped around the other boy and just now he drew him into a passionate kiss. That was unexpected!

Julien continued to watch. Once the blonde boy had wiggled out of Blaise's embrace, he pulled a blanket from behind some crates and spread it on the floor. They both sat down on it, then Blaise shifted closer and leaned over to the blonde and whispered something into his ear. The blonde giggled and nodded. They kissed again, then they started to strip down.

First they shed their pyjama tops, then Blaise slowly pulled off the blonde's pants. Julien wished his vantage point would allow him to see more than just the kid's cute ass. Even though he had a real nice, well-rounded rear end, indeed. Now Blaise lay down on his back to let the blonde undress him as well. Julien strained himself to try and get a better view through the keyhole.

Once naked, the to lovebirds cuddled together, and interrupted by some more whispers and giggles, started to brush against each other. Julien's own hand wandered down into his pants without him even realizing. He slowly started to rub his stiff member as he watched Blaise and his lover slowly find their rhythm. They were going faster and faster. Julien bit his lip to stifle a moan. The blood was rushing in his ears over the sound of the two boys' laboured breaths. Julien feared they might hear him and tried to silence his own panting.

Just when Julien was getting close, the blonde kid suddenly stopped Blaise and whispered something into his ear. Blaise nodded and the blonde shuffled around, turning his back to Blaise, who immediately snuck up to him again from behind, before he carefully resumed his thrusting motion. Merlin, they were really going for …! “ _Meow!_ ” Julien literally jumped. The tiny sound had emanated from right next to him! When he jerked around, he came face to face with a huge cat. Julien breathed a sigh of relief.

“ _Merde!_ You scared me!”, he silently breathed. The cat just looked at him stupidly with its glowing, yellow eyes. “ _Go away!_ ”, Julien added and pressed his eye against the keyhole again.

But the cat had other things on its mind, it touched him with her paw, forcing Julien to turn back to her. The dust-coloured thing was quite huge, but really scrawny and it was still staring at him intently. Maybe it was hungry.

Julien automatically reached for his pocket, but his pyjama pants didn't have any. “ _Désolé_ , I don't have any treats for you”, he whispered, “ _shoo! Go away!_ ”

He tried to push her off, but now the stupid cat turned towards the door and started to scratch at it.

“Stop that! You're gonna give us away! _Shoo! Shoo!_ ” Julien tried to scare it away with his hand.

The cat hissed at him.

Suddenly a noise from down corridor caught his attention. “Have you found something, my sweet? Where are you?”, someone called in the distance.

“ _Meow!_ ”, the cat wailed, “ _meow! Meow!_ ”

“Stop it! You're giving us away!”, Julien tried to silence her.

She just growled at him, then she continued to scream. Hurried steps echoed down the corridor from the direction Julien and Blaise had come from. “I'm coming my sweet! Don't let them get away!”, the not-so-distant-anymore voice said.

Julien got up. “ _Fichu traître!_ ”, he shot at the cat, who's misgiving eyes followed his every movement. The steps sounded really close now, Julien spun around and ran down the hallway in the opposite direction, followed by the screams of the damn cat.

He barely reached a suit of armour that guarded a crossway a few steps before the nook with the barrels and crouched down behind it before a man stepped onto the corridor. Julien furtively peered around his cover to look back. The cat still lingered at the door, staring down the corridor after Julien, then at the door and down the corridor again, like she couldn't decide if she should guard the two boys inside or go after him. Running over to her, the filthy-looking man called: “What is is, my dear? Where are they?”

The cat stared after Julien a moment longer, indecisive, but then she turned to growl at the door.

“Are they hiding in there, my sweet?”

The man was reaching for the door handle. “ _Merde alors_ _!_ ”, Julien silently cursed. The man was going to catch Blaise and his boyfriend, unless … Julien looked up at the suit of armour and sighed. “ _Pardonne-moi!_ ”, he whispered and gave it a shove. It toppled over and crashed onto the floor with a huge clanging and clattering that probably woke half the castle.

“There he is! After him, my sweet!”, the man shouted, but by that time, Julien was already sprinting down the hallway in the opposite direction.

At first he thought he was actually gaining on his pursuers, but then, after a slow bend, the corridor suddenly ended in a big door. Julien slid into a halt. “ _Alohomora!_ ”, he screamed when the door wouldn't budge at his attempt to pull the handle. With an obedient click, it opened and let Julien through into small storage area filled with dusty chests and barrels and cobwebs. But no other way out. “Une impasse putain!”, Julien cursed.

He spun around and rushed back the way he had come. Right before the bend there had been a small passageway, if he could reach it before ... But then the mad man and his cat appeared ahead of him, already past the crossing. Slowly, with a smug smile on his face, the man came closer. Julien skid to a halt yet again and panicky looked around. Just then he noticed that the huge painting of a fruit bowl, that hung about halfway between him and his pursuers stood oddly ajar. As he looked, it swung open even further and revealed some kind of opening behind it.

Julien stared at it only a split-second longer, then he dashed down the corridor towards the unexpected escape. The man had noticed, too, and, uttering a curse, he started running as well. Julien reached the painting first. He ran right into the poor house elf who had just been about to step through the opening. The force of the impact threw the small creature back and the plates he had been carrying shattered on the floor, clattering.

“ _Excusez-moi! Excusez-moi!”_ , Julien said as he hurriedly pulled the secret door shut behind them – not a second too early, for thre was a crashing sound from outside followed by more swear words and someone shaking heavily at the painting. Julien spun back to the house elf, who was just getting up to his feet. Julien offered him a hand.

“Sorry”, he repeated, “is there another way out of here?” They were inside a huge room, probably as big as the great hall, and it, too, had four long tables. The walls were covered with counters and stoves and other elves were busily running around. Some kind of kitchen apparently. “Quick, please!”, Julien added as the painting behind him shook again.

The house elf stared at him with big eyes and pointed towards the far end of the kitchen hall. “Yes, sir, there-”

Just then Julien heard the painting open again and he dove behind a nearby counter. The angry man pushed through the passage, followed by his equally annoyed-looking cat. When it turned its searching eyes in Julien's direction, he quickly withdrew behind his cover again.

“Where did he go?”, the man barked at the perplexed elf. Julien was about to get up and make a run for the hidden passageway. A house elf never lied to his master, so Julien knew the creature would give him away.

“He runs that way, sir! Through the delivery door”, the house elf squeaked.

The man rudely shoved past the elf and ran off between the long wooden tables. When he had vanished through the doors at the other end of the kitchen, the house elf turned towards Julien.

“Mr Filch is gone, sir. You can come out now”, he said and, with a short pause, he added: “You is not allowed here at this time, sir. You should not be here.”

Julien crawled out of his hiding place and came over to the little creature, who had started to pick up the broken dishes from the floor. Julien squat down in front of him and examined him closer. The little fellow looked like a house elf, alright. He had made a hat out of what probably had been a tea-cozy onto which he had pinned a wild assortment of random badges. So far, so normal – for a house elf, Julien guessed. But other than his ridiculous headgear, the creature wore a pair of kid's boxer shorts and two socks, one black, the other striped red and green. A house elf who wore clothes! Hideous clothes, but definitely real clothes!

“You are an elfe du maison, non?”, Julien asked, confused. He reached down to help collect the broken pieces.

“Yes, sir. Dobby is. No, let Dobby get those shards, sir! You cuts yourself, sir!”

“But you lied when you send that imbécile away!”, Julien blurted out.

Dobby froze and stared at Julien with his huge, green eyes, like he had just now realized what he had done. Suddenly, he rammed the sharp shard he held in his hand into his other hand again and again. “Yes! Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!”

“Stop that!”, Julien seized Dobby's arm, “I- I meant to say, thank you! Sorry about the broken plates. I'm Valentin, by the way.”

“Mustn't worry, Valentin, sir!”, Dobby said and took the broken plate from Julien's hand, “Dobby fixes them.”

And with just the slightest movement of his hand, a magic glow surrounded the shards and they snapped together again. Julien watched almost a bit envious as, after this seemingly effortless display of wandless _and_ silent magic, Dobby happily stacked the restored plates together and smiled at him. The elf put the plates onto one of the tables, then he beckoned Julien over to the fireplace.

“So Valentin is the young master's new roommate?”, he asked, “would Valentin like a snack?”

A group of nearby house elves was already rushing over with a huge plate laden with biscuits on a silver tray.

“Uh”, Julien said and hesitantly took a chocolate cookie, “thanks. Who?”

“Young master Malfoy, Valentin, sir”, Dobby paused for a moment, then he corrected himself, sad. “Former young master.”

“Your master freed you?”, Julien asked.

“No, no, Harry Potter freed Dobby!”, the elf exclaimed.

“I'm so sorry”, Julien said.

But Dobby shook his head so that his huge bat ears flapped. “Dobby likes being free!”, he proclaimed. The other house elves looked outright embarrassed and started to mutter among themselves.

Julien grabbed a second cookie. While munching down on it, he eyeballed the curious house elf.

“What are you doing here then?”, he inquired.

“Dobby works at Hogwarts now. Professor Dumbledore pays Dobby a Gallon a week and he gets one day off a month!”

The other house elves moved away from him like he was contagious, taking the silver tablet with the cookies with them.

“That's – er – very generous of him”, Julien said. The allowance his parents gave him was more than that.

“Professor Dumbledore offered Dobby ten Gallons a week and the weekends off, but Dobby beat him down!”, the strange house elf declared with obvious pride.

“So, how did you know I'm friends with Draco?”, Julien asked. He longingly looked over to the elves with the delicious biscuits. They were still watching Dobby, shell-shocked, but they dutifully stepped closer long enough for Julien to seize another cookie.

“Dobby looks after Draco Malfoy, sir. Dobby misses the young master, so after he came to Hogwarts, Dobby begins to visit him at night. Dobby tucks Draco Malfoy in and watches him in his sleep. So Dobby sees Valentin arrive.”

Julien nodded. That sounded a tiny bit creepy, actually. He wondered if that clinginess was a normal thing for family house elves or if Dobby was just a bit dingue. Julien's parents didn't have a house elf of their own, though sometimes they had been provided one by the embassy. Those had not seemed devoted like that, but of cause they hadn't actually been bound to his family but to his papa's employer.

Dobby interrupted his musings: “Dobby knows brother of Valentin, sir, as well. Brother of Valentin is friends with Harry Potter. Dobby sees him when Dobby goes watch Harry Potter last night!”

Yes, totally normal house elf behaviour and totally not creepy.

“Uh – that's nice of you”, Julien said. There was an awkward pause. “I – er – should be going, it's getting late. Thanks for saving me!”

The house elves followed him to the door and tried to push some more sweets on him. Julien took two more cookies for the way, said goodbye to Dobby and the rest of the elves and stepped back out on the corridor.

He followed the brightly lit hallway past Blaise's lover's nest (the two lovebirds sadly had gone) back to the crossway and then down the dark passageway he had come from.

Now that he was on his own, the castle dungeons seemed much darker all of the sudden and quite cold. Julien got out his wand to illuminate the way, the prospect of being caught by that Filch guy because of his light seemed much less frightening compared to the thought of what else might be lurking for him in the dark. No matter how often Julien turned around, he just couldn't shake the feeling someone – or something – was following him just outside his small sphere of light. What was worse, the dungeons looked all the same and when he hadn't reached back at the potions classroom after walking for twenty minutes, Julien admitted to himself that he was lost. He should have asked Dobby for the way!

He had just turned right at yet another branching of identical corridors, when an angry hiss stopped him. An all too familiar-looking cat stalked into the dim light of his wand and sat down right in front of him. That stupid thing again!

Julien tried to walk past it, but the cat moved with him to block his way. He raised his wand, threatening. “Go away! I've had enough of you traître for tonight”, he warned.

The cat stared past him, unimpressed, and it didn't move. Then Julien heard the steps as well.

“Have you found him, my sweet? Don't let him get away again!”, the cat's fou owner hollered from behind his back.

“Get out of the way!”, Julien told the cat. He pretended to kick at it when it wouldn't let him pass.

“Thought you could get away from me, boy?”, Filch called.

With an angry hiss, the stupid cat lunged at Julien's foot. Its sharp claws went right through Julien's thin pyjama pants.

“Putain de merde!”, Julien cursed, “ _Duro!_ ”

The cat stiffened and fell over to the side where it remained, unmoving. Before he could step over the petrified cat, strong hands seized his wand-arm from behind.

“Mrs Norris! My sweet! What have you done to her?”, the crazed man screamed right into his ear.

“Let go, you cinglé!”

Filch didn't seem to hear Julien. He screeched: “You have murdered her! My sweet! She is dead! You have killed her!”

He twisted Julien's arm around so violently and wrestled his wand from him, tears shot to Julien's eyes and he thought he heard his bones creak. Then, still fixing Julien with one hand, the man bend down and, gently, gathered up the unmoving form of his cat and tucked it under his cloak. “My sweet, oh, my sweet! She's dead!”, he continued to mutter to himself.

“She's just frozen. I- _aie!_ ”, the sharp pain as Filch twisted his wrist cut Julien short.

“You!”, the man screamed. He shook Julien. “ _You!_ I'll kill you! You've murdered her! I'll- the headmaster will-” He pushed Julien through the maze of corridors, continuing to mutter to himself incoherently.

The lunatic rushed him up a flight of stairs and down another, left and right through narrow passages and hallways until suddenly, Julien found himself back on the potions corridor, where they finally stopped in front of a small wood-and-iron door right across from Professeur Snape's office. Still muttering, the man banged on it like he was going to bash it in.

Some moment later, the door opened and Professor Snape, wearing a long, grey nightshirt and looking rather ill-tempered, appeared behind it.

“Filch? What's this ruckus about? Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Mrs Norris! My cat! He murdered her!”, Filch screamed and pushed Julien forward.

The professor narrowed his eyes at Julien. “Mr Lambert”, he observed.

“Bonsoir, Professeur”, Julien said, innocent.

“I had a feeling you were a troublemaker, but I didn't expect to see you quite so soon.”

“She's dead! He killed my cat!”

Filch accusingly held out the petrified cat to the Professeur.

“I didn't hurt her, she's just-”

“He murdered her!”

“Silence!” Professor Snape massaged his temples. “Mr Filch?”

“I caught this delinquent out of bed, he attacked Mrs Norris. He- he killed her-!”

“I didn't-!”

“ _Silence!_ ”, the Professeur cut them both off, “Mr Lambert?”

Julien tried to shake off Flich's heavy hand from his shoulder.

“It's just a hardening charm. If that fou had just listened or stopped to think for a second-”

“He murdered my sweet!”

“How benêt are you? She is just frozen! Why didn't it even occur to you to try a simple counterspell? Merde alors! If you hadn't taken my wand, I would have done it myself already!”

Filch suddenly fell silent and the awkward glance Professeur Snape shot at the other man didn't escape Julien either. He got the distinct feeling that he had just said something wrong.

The Professeur took the cat from Mr Filch and set it on the floor. A short incantation and the flick of his wand later, she moved again. She looked around, turned to Julien and hissed at him, enraged. But before she could attack him again, Filch had already scooped her up and pressed her to his chest like he was trying to suffocate her.

“Eh bien! I'm happy that little misunderstanding could be cleared up, but if you'd excuse me now-” Julien turned to leave.

“Not so fast, Mr Lambert”, Professeur Snape said, “What were you doing sneaking about the school in the middle of the night?”

“Don't forget he attacked Mrs Norris! I want to see him punished!”

The professeur shot Filch an annoyed glance before he turned his attention back to Julien.

“I got lost on the way back from the loo”, Julien said – technically speaking, it was true. Kind of.

“Hogwash!”, snarled Filch.

“And do you often use the lavatories at the other end of the castle, Mr Lambert?”, the professeur inquired.

“I – er – OK, I was hungry and I went searching for the kitchen. I'm sorry and I won't do it again.”

Professeur Snape gave him a probing look. Julien guiltily lowered his eyes and the professeur smirked.

“You will return to your dormitories now, Mr Lambert, and-”

“I won't stand for this! I demand he be punished!”, Filch clamoured.

“- _and_ tomorrow after your afternoon classes, you will report to Mr Filch here for your detention. I'm sure he'll find some adequate tasks for you.”

When Julien got back to his dorm room, he found Blaise back in his bed, already fast asleep. So at least he and the cute blonde had gotten away.


	5. Proper Uniforms

Despite his nightly adventure, Julien woke up early again. The first rays of sunlight filtered through the lake and cast the room into an eery, green twilight. He still wasn't used to the late start of the school day here in Britain. Julien blinked sleepily and yawned, but he sat up after all, fished for his slippers and groggily made his way over to the washroom.

Except for a few other early risers, the dormitories lay in silence, most students still were asleep like Julien's roommates. He took a cold shower to wake himself up, then he stepped over to the mirror to do his hair. By the time he had tamed it to his liking, more boys began crowding the washroom and hallway.

In fact, his stubborn hair had cost him so much time, when Julien got back to his dorm room, his roommates' beds were all deserted, except for Draco's – who was still sleeping, snoring happily, blissfully ignorant of the rising sun. Julien opened his brother's trunk to get dressed, when his eyes fell on the girls' uniform. Valentin would be way too embarrassed, he would never wear it on his own ... Julien picked up the skirt and looked at it. Maybe he should help his brother and do it for him? He took a quick look around, but except for Draco, who was still in dreamland, he was alone. A mischievous grin spread on his face and he got out the rest of the girls' uniform. He quickly dressed himself.

When he was done, he looked down on his new self. Yes, he decided, he definitely liked that cute skirt! But he wasn't entirely happy yet. He snatched up some handkerchiefs and stuffed them into his shirt. He fiddled with them for a while before he was happy with the small bumps that now showed under his blouse. Not too big, just enough for people to notice. Of cause, he had to redo his hair in a more girlish fashion as well. He snatched up his bottle of Sleekeazy's hair potion and, ignoring the perplexed looks the two older boys he ran past on the corridor gave him, rushed back to the washroom.

Standing at the mirror, he was playing with his hair – wavy at the top and long bangs on one side, he decided – when Theodore, a friend of Draco's, came from the showers, naked. Theodore gaped at Julien and with a yelp retreated back to the shower room. After a moment, he re-emerged, a towel slung around his waist. Julien had to fight a lough. Hesitantly, Theodore stepped besides him, still eyeing him awkwardly while fiddling with his toothbrush.

“Bonjour”, Julien said, smiling.

Theodore almost dropped the toothpaste. Once he had recovered, he looked Julien over once more. Finally, he blurted out: “You're a boy, right?”

Julien burst out laughing, he actually felt quite pleased he was that convincing.

“Wanna check?”

He motioned to raise his skirt, but Theodore panicky stopped him.

Just then Draco entered the room. He looked at them, confused.

“Ask Draco, he knows for sure!”, Julien told Theodore.

Theodore's eyes wandered back and forth between him and Draco, then he left in such a hurry, he even forgot to brush his teeth. Draco looked after him, even more perplexed. He shot Julien a questioning glance, but Julien just smirked back at him, silent.

Draco joined him at the mirror and began combing down his already sleek hair. He, too, eyed Julien.

“What's with that get-up?”

Julien deliberately misunderstood: “Girls love it when you do your hair a bit wild!”, he eyed Draco's hair, “you should try it, too! With that blonde hair of yours, you could make any girl swoon for you, here, just crunch up the ends a bit-” He reached over to him, but Draco parried his hand.

“I like my hair the way it is!”, he said defensively. After a short pause, he added: “I thought you were into boys.”

Julien beamed: “Boys dig it, too!”

Draco shot him another uncertain look and fell into an awkward silence.

His other housemates gave Julien strange looks or giggled behind his back as well when they saw him. That mouchard Theodore had been busily tattling to Vincent and Gregory and excitedly pointed at Julien the second he entered the common room. His two friends stared at him like he had turned into a pink dragon. Julien grinned and happily waved at them: “Bonjour, Gregory, Vincent! Something wrong?” He really enjoyed the attention and strange looks he got. Valentin was _so_ going to kill him!

So Julien was in a splendid mood – until he entered the Great Hall for breakfast and got a glimpse at his brother. He didn't believe his eyes. _That_ _crétin_ _was wearing his girls' uniform as well!_ Julien muttered a silent curse under his breath, but then he couldn't help but grin. Of cause Valentin had had the same stupid idea as he!

Vincent and Gregory kept on snickering and Draco, while he maintained a more dignified demeanour, couldn't help but constantly eye him as well. To their credit, though, none of his new friends minded Julien sitting down with them.

Julien followed Draco's stare. “They're real, you know?”, he lied, casual, “I cast an engorgement charm on my chest. Wanna touch them?”

Draco awkwardly lowered his gaze, which brought his eyes down to Julien's groin. Realizing that this was even worse, he turned a new shade of red and hurriedly looked down on his plate of food. Julien grinned. _Zut!_ Why hadn't he actually thought of trying _Engorgio_ _?_

He and his friends were just about to leave after breakfast and get ready for their first lesson of the day, when Valentin came running over.

“ _Bien de comme ches nous, eh, tantouze?”_ , he shouted from afar. Laughing, he ruffled through Julien's carefully dressed hair and embraced him from behind. He wasn't shy like Draco, his hands wandered right down to Julien's fake boobs.

Julien pushed him away and got up as well.

Their friends were staring at them. “There's _two_ of them!”, Theodore bleated. Grinning, Julien turned towards him. Theodore shied away, but Valentin quickly moved to block his escape. Theodore backed off into the table. “Like what you see?”, Julien teased, shoving closer. “Wanna touch them?”, Valentin asked, pushing up his chest. Gregory and Vincent snickered to themselves. The corners of Draco's mouth twitched. “Careful, Theo, the two might be contagious!”, he warned, trying his best not to laugh.

“Just kidding.”

“But honest, you may touch them if you want”, the twins teased.

When they let off of Theodore, he quickly moved away from them. Half hiding behind Draco, he continued to eye them with suspicion. “Let's go! We'll be late for Charms!”, he urged.

Draco hesitated and regarded Julien. “Yeah. Are you coming?”

“I'll be right behind you. I just need a second to talk to my sissy brother!”

“Tu peux bien parler, tu!”, Valentin observed when their friends had left.

They both looked each other over, critical.

“Bien fagoté, tu!”

“I like your skirt, too, pédé!”

“I knew _you_ wouldn't need convincing to wear one!”

“Dare you to wear it all week!”

“Bet you'll stop before me!”

“Like hell!”

“So it's a deal?”

“Deal!”

They grinned. Then Julien saw Ron standing at the exit and looking over to them. “I think your friends are leaving, too”, he pointed out to his brother.

“Bien”, Valentin agreed, “see you at Potions!”

“Wait! Wanna bring the sweets?”

“Pour sûr. Maybe the stupid bat will be a bit nicer then, too”, Valentin smirked. Apparently, he thought Ron's nickname for Professeur Snape fitting as well.

They kissed each other goodbye and Valentin ran over to Ron and Hermione. Julien, too, went to fetch his schoolbag, then he went to climb up the grand staircase. He wasn't exactly sure where he had to go and the stupid stairs kept on changing on him. After asking several portraits and taking two false turns, he finally made it to the charms corridor in the Ravenclaw tower. A bit breathless, he stopped in front of the classroom door and knocked. He didn't wait for a reply before he entered.

The other students were already sitting behind their desks, a few turned their head to him. And a few more when their neighbours elbowed them. Draco rolled his eyes and smirked, like he thought Julien was deliberately late to make an entrance!

“Désolé, I'm late!”

The Professeur, a tiny little man, who stood on a pile of books on his chair so he could look over his desk, just smiled at him.

“No worries, we've only just started”, he said and jumped down from his book stack, “got lost on the stairs? It happened to all of us in our first week! I'm Professor Flitwick, by the way.”

He came over – the Professeur barely reached Julien's navel when he stood in front of him – and beckoned Julien over to the front of the class.

“As you're probably aware, we got two new students from Beauxbatons”, Professeur Flitwick addressed the class. He was mostly looking in the direction of the Ravenclaws, with whom the Slytherin shared their charms lessons. Like in the other subjects before, students sat separated by their house. “This is-”, the Professeur stopped. He looked down on some parchment in his hand, then back to Julien's attire. With an inquiring look on his face, he finished: “Mr Valentin Lambert?”

“Yeah, that's my name, but I prefer Valentina”, Julien said with an over-the-top girly giggle. Valentin was going to kill him for real if that name caught on!

Gregory burst out laughing and that did it for the rest of the class, they all started snickering.

“ _Silence!_ ”, Professeur Flitwick demanded. He wasn't laughing at all, he seemed angry, in fact, and Julien felt he might have overdone the act a bit.

“Is this how we welcome new students at Hogwarts?” When Flitwick looked back up to Julien, he had a friendly smile on his face again. “So, er, _Miss_ Lambert, why don't you go and sit down with Mr Zabini over there?”, he said, all serious.

Julien decided he actually liked the tiny Professeur.

He went over to the back of the class, where Blaise sat with two girls on a table for four. “Boujour”, he greeted them as he sat down on the outmost chair. The girls shot him strange looks and silently whispered among themselves. Blaise didn't seem too excited about the company of another 'girl', or at least he didn't pay Julien any attention beyond a bored glance and a short nod.

“Made a getaway last night?”, Julien whispered, casual, “from Filch, I mean.”

That got him a longer stare of those aloof eyes, before Blaise turned his attention back to his book.

“So, who's the cute blonde?”, Julien asked.

Blaise shot him another quick look. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Don't worry, I can keep a secret.”

Blaise didn't answer.

 

* * *

 

After Charms followed double Potions together with the Gryffindors. So, in the short break between lessons, Julien ran back to his dorms to get his cauldron and reagents – and the bag of sweets he and his brother had bought at Hogsmeade, like they had agreed in the morning.

Just when he was about to rush up the stairs to the boys' dormitories, his eyes fell on entrance to the girls' dorms. Julien hesitated. He eyed the stairs, thinking, then he looked down on himself and a grin snuck on his face. The stairs were enchanted against _boy_ intruders, n'est-ce pas? But right now _he wasn't a boy!_

He took a quick look around to make sure no one was watching him, then he quickly stepped over to the entrance. Carefully, he placed one foot on the stairs. Nothing happened. _It worked!_ He had tricked the stupid enchantment! With a triumphant laugh, he ran up the stairs, two steps at a time.

He was on his sixth or seventh step when suddenly, there were no stairs below his feet any more. They had melted into a smooth stone slide and the walls around him stated to howl in an ear-piercing, wailing sound. Julien wildly flailed his arms – the railing had disappeared as well – then he fell backwards. With a loud thud, he impacted the floor at the foot of the stairs, where he remained lying on his back, dazed.

A face moved into his field of vision. “Are you OK?”, the older girl who was standing over him asked.

“Oui, oui, I'm fine.” Julien shook his head in an attempt to clear it.

She grinned and offered him a hand. “Good try. I'll give you credit for the idea and the effort you put into it.”

Julien took the hand and sat up. “Merci”, he said, professional.

“But if you try again, you'll wish I only gave you detention! Are we clear on that?” Her smile suddenly seemed much colder. Julien eyed the prefects' badge on her chest.

“Perfectly clear”, he agreed. He so was going to beat that not-so-stupid stupid enchantment!

But probably not today. The girl made sure he really was OK, then Julien went to get his stuff from his dorm.

When he stepped out of the secret entrance to the dormitories, Valentin was already waiting for him outside.

“What took you so long? Got your sweets?”, he asked.

Instead of an answer, Julien just showed him the bag and rubbed his aching buttocks.

“Bien. Let's ask the professeur then!”

They ran over to the potions classroom together. It was still a minute or two before the start of the lesson and Professeur Snape wasn't there yet, but most of their classmates were. Julien saw Hermione talking to Neville in the back row and Ron and Harry were standing with Draco, fighting over something again and exchanging insults. The twins took the opportunity and walked up to the teacher's desk in the front.

“Hé, listen!”, Valentin called out. A few heads turned to them. “You all gave us a really nice welcome here at Hogwarts.”

“So when we went to Hogsmeade, we bought sweets for everyone as a thank you!”, Julien agreed.

Together, they started to go around the room to let everyone have their pick. Even Draco and Ron stopped their bickering long enough to – well, long enough to start another fight. They both reached for Julien's bag at the same time.

“Hey, wait for your turn!”

“Or what, Weaselbee?”

“ _Ferret!”_

Draco turned pale.

“Stop it!”, Julien said before he could reach for his wand.

“He's right!”, Ron agreed.

“Both of you!”, Valentin told him off.

They let Harry have his pick first. “Thank you, _Juliane!_ ”, he said when he took some jelly slugs from Valentin's bag. Valentin shot Julien the nastiest glance. Julien almost choked, but he managed to keep a straight face. He was going to kill Valentin _so, so much_ _!_

Since Ron and Draco behaved this time, the twins let the two squabblers have their pick as well.

Just then Professeur Snape walked in. “What is this commotion about?”, he immediately demanded. “Everyone to your seats!”

Valentin and Julien got over to him.

“We brought sweets for everyone in thanks of the great welcome we got here”, Valentin explained. “We wanted to ask if we could hand them out before your lesson.”

“Here, why don't you take one yourself?”, Julien suggested and offered the Professeur his bag.

The Professeur looked down on them with indignation, then he snatched up the whole bag. He took Valentin's bag as well. “Back to your seats, I said!”, he barked. He turned to the whole class: “Mr Weasley, Mr Potter, _sit down!_ How often do I have to repeat myself? No eating in the classroom! Are you all half-witted?” He looked over to Neville, then at the twins, who still stood in front of his desk. “I guess”, he sighed, silent. “This is a potions lab”, he said, condescending. “You're not allowed to bring food or drinks in here!”

“We're sorry, Professeur, we-”, Valentin said.

“Why are you still standing here?”, Snape snapped at him. He carelessly tossed their sweets into the fireplace. The twins just stared at him, disbelieving. “Professeur-” – “Are you deaf? Ten points from both of you! I told you to get back to your seats!” The professeur's eyes narrowed. “And what is this ridiculous getup? Where are your school uniforms?”

“Those are our uniforms”, Julien informed him, angry.

“ _Get out!_ ”, Snape exploded, “Detention! One week detention! The both of you! Get back to your dorms and change into some proper clothes! And wait there until I collect you after class!”

He didn't even let them get their school bags before he chased them out of the classroom. With a loud crash, he slammed the door shut behind them.

“ _Connard stupide!_ ”, Valentin spat, not really caring of Professeur Snape could hear him through the door.

“Fils de pute!”, Julien agreed.

He hesitated. “So what now?”

“Wanna hang out at my dorm?”, Valentin asked and started in the direction of the Slytherin dormitories.

“You mean my dorm”, Julien corrected as he followed him.

Valentin just shrugged.

“Serpent”, he said to the wall by the ugly gargoyle and the secret entrance swung open. They both got in. Except for a lone seventh year who sat by the window and didn't even look up from her book when the two entered, the common room was deserted. They went up the stairs to Valentin's room. Valentin sat on his bed and Julien lay down on his chest besides him.

“So, you getting along with the guys?”, Valentin asked.

“Draco's cute.”

“Idiot! I mean as friends!”

“They're nice. How about you?”

“Hermione is a bit uptight, but I like her. Ron is really cute. Have you seen those yummy red pubes of his? Think Fred and George have them, too?”

Julien gave Valentin a playful shove. “Now who is confusing the subject, pitre?”, he grinned, “and yes, they do. They're real big already, too.”

“Ginny is a real cutie, too.”

“Who?”

“You haven't met their little sister yet?”

 

* * *

 

They were still chatting about their new friends an hour later, when Professeur Snape, a sour look on his face, appeared in the door. His eyes narrowed on them both and immediately, his expression turned several degrees more deadly.

“Mr Lambert, what is your brother doing _in here?”_ , he snarled.

“Sitting, Sir”, Julien informed him, helpful.

The veins on the professeur's neck swelled alarmingly. “And why are you both still wearing those ridiculous costumes? I told you to change into proper uniforms!”

“Those are proper school uniforms.”

With one step Professeur Snape was over by them. He grabbed Julien's arm and forced him up.

“With me. _Now!_ ”

He seized Valentin as well. Steaming with anger, he half-dragged half-shoved them out of the Slytherin dormitories and towards the grand staircase, all the way ignoring their protests. He finally stopped in front of some ugly, giant gargoyle statue.

“Cockroach clusters”, Professeur Snape spat at the monstrosity. The giant gargoyle awoke to life, beckoned the professeur for a second and then, displaying surprising agility, moved aside to reveal a narrow staircase.

Snape pushed Julien and Valentin inside. The stairs began moving on their own and carried them upwards, followed by the professeur. Behind them, the gargoyle stepped back into its place and closed the entrance again.

After a short ride, the stairs ended in front of a large, wooden door and Julien stepped off of them. Before Professeur Snape could knock on the door, it opened on its own. The Professeur shoved them through.

It led into a circular room, cluttered with all kinds of strange silver and gold instruments, most of which were emitting a constant whirring and chirping and clicking, while others bellowed puffs of multi-coloured smoke. None seemed to serve any purpose recognizable to Julien. The walls were covered in portraits of pompous-looking witches and wizards, former headmistresses and headmasters, most of whom seemed to be snoozing gently in their frames. Just like their current successor, who was reclining in a high-backed chair behind a huge, claw-footed desk, that was buried under an assortment of more noisy clutter.

Headmaster's office on their second day. That was a new record, even for them.

The headmaster's eyelids flattered open and he leaned forward on his desk. The grandfatherly smile on his face made for a stark contrast to his unnerving, light-blue eyes. The tips of his spidery fingers touching together, the man turned his penetrating stare on each of them in turn, smiling gently all the while. Julien felt like he was being x-rayed. So this was Dumbledore, considered the most powerful wizard alive by some, and quite possibly more than a bit dingue.

“Now, what leads you two young gentlemen here?”, Dumbledore finally broke the silence in a jovial tone of voice. “Would anyone care for a sherbert lemon?”

He offered them a small bowl filled with greenish-white candy. Julien hesitantly took one. Dumbledore held out the bowl to Professeur Snape as well, but Snape ignored his outstretched hand. He exploded: “Headmaster! These two miscreants have been at Hogwarts hardly three days and they already turned out to be a disruptive presence worse than-”

He was interrupted when Professeur McGonagall entered. “I couldn't find Mr Lambert at his dorms-”, her eyes fell on Valentin, “Oh, I see, you already chanced upon him, Professor.” Her eyes wandered down on Valentin. “Mr Lambert, what are you wearing?”

Professeur Snape harrumphed. “As I was just saying, this is how Messrs Lambert showed up for my Potions class. When I ordered them to put on proper school uniforms, they refused! I wonder where they even got those ridiculous outfits!” He shot Professeur McGonagall a misgiving glance.

“Well-”, Dumbleodre said.

“That isn't all! They were handing out sweets to other students in the potions lab! The potions lab! And tonight Mr Filch caught Mr Valentin Lambert out of bed and vandalizing the castle!”, Valentin looked at Julien, curious. “The boy hasn't even served his previous detention yet and he and his brother are already getting into new trouble! Just now I found Mr Lambert together with his brother in the Slytherin dormitories! This can't be allowed to continue or we set a dangerous precedence for other students!”

Professeur McGonagall cleared her throat. “Surely, you're exaggerating, Severus. The boys are in the wrong, but I doubt they had ill intentions when they brought the sweets. I do agree about the uniforms, however. This charade can't be allowed to continue! Proper school uniforms are obligatory here at Hogwarts.”

“Well, Minerva, Severus, you both do have a point ... yes, Valentin?”

Julien had been eyeing the headmaster for a while now, attempting to get his attention.

“Professeur Dumbledore”, he asked, “do you happen to have a copy of the school rules at hand?”

“Yes, of cause, why?”

“Would you mind getting them, s'il vous plaît?”

“This is a waste of time!”, Snape interrupted, but Professeur Dumbledore did Julien the favour and opened one of the many drawer in his desk. He began rummaging through it, it apparently was bigger on the inside, for at one time, he disappeared in it up to his shoulder. Finally, he produced a collection of finely inscribed parchments.

“Now, if you were so kind as to open the section on school uniforms? You will see, while the rules indeed state that students are required to wear uniforms during lessons and it lists what makes a proper boys' and girls' uniform, nowhere do the rules actually state that boys aren't allowed to wear a girls' uniform or vice versa. Those are proper girls' uniforms, so I don't see where my brother and I are breaking any rules.”

Snape harrumphed.

Professeur Dumbledore narrowed his brows, but he shuffled through the parchments until he found the section. He carefully studied it. When the headmaster looked back up, his blue eyes twinkled in roguish amusement.

“It would seem the boy is right.”

“You can't be serious, Albus!”, Professeur McGonagall spluttered.

“Are you denying me the free expression of my personality?”, Valentin asked, offended.

“This is Scotland, why aren't skirts part of the boys' uniform, anyways?”, Julien agreed.

Professeur Dumbledore chuckled.

Snape protested: “Headmaster, you can't be thinking of allowing this mockery!”

“I'm afraid I have no choice but”, Professeur Dumbledore said, defeated, giving Julien a mischievous smile.

Snape and McGonagall protested some more, but Professeur Dumbledore was steadfast. The twins were allowed to keep wearing girls' uniforms. They still got a stern reminder that they weren't allowed into other houses' dormitories and they were both going to serve detention with Professeur Snape for their other offences.

Still, Julien couldn't help but grin at Professeur McGonagall when she escorted them back down the stairwell from the headmaster's office. “I thought you of all people would appreciate us honouring the proud traditions of our host country! You're Scottish, n'est-ce pas?”

McGonagall sighed. “Those are kilts, not skirts!”

“But it's really cold being a Scotsmen”, Valentin ignored her objection.

“Sans blague!”, Julien agreed, “I wonder how real Scotsmen survive the winter here!”

Professeur McGonagall stopped in her tracks and regarded the boys. They beamed at her, innocent. She sighed again, already anticipating the answer. “You are wearing underwear, young men, are you?”

Julien grinned like a fool. “Wanna check?”

McGonagall didn't want to. “Go to your dorms and put on some briefs immediately!”, she told them.


End file.
